


Owls in the Borderlands

by Cratmang



Category: Borderlands (Video Games), The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Additional Tags to Be Added, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Amity is a mechromancer working for Dahl, Boscha and the others are young Dahl soldiers, But mostly it's just guns, Eda is a siren, Eda is also a psycho, Eda is drunk, F/F, Guns, Gus and Willow are scientists researching Eridian tech, King is a claptrap unit, Lilith C. is a Dahl commander, Luz and co. are 16, Okay there's some magic i guess, She switches between two states of sanity like a werewolf, They are all probably too young for military service, eyes getting pulled out of their sockets, glourious guns, it's only cybernetics though, no magic, not to be confused with the Firehawk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:27:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27645479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cratmang/pseuds/Cratmang
Summary: Luz was born and raised on Pandora. All things considered, she's had it pretty good. But she has always been fascinated by the legendary tales of Vault Hunters who searched the galaxy for treasure and glory.Then the Dahl cooperation arrives at her doorstep, backed by the mysterious company Emperor Industries, and before she knows it, she and some new friends are racing to open a vault before they do.Takes place after the events of Borderlands 3.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 37
Kudos: 64





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Dec 16th: Removed the "Major Character Death" tag, as I have decided not to go down that road. "What road?" you might ask. I'll probably tell you later. I _may_ also readd the tag (EDIT: much) later, as I develop the story.  
> Dec 17th: Guys, I said I _removed_ the "Major Character Death" tag; That is to say, _no one who is a major character is going to die._ Ya'll need to chill.

It is nearly impossible to grow anything on Pandora.

Most of the land is either infertile, or unsuitable for farming - almost nothing will grow outside of the thin stretches of tundra and grassland that border between barren deserts and frozen wastes. In addition, it hardly ever rains, so water is a precious resource that is hard to come by. If you want to establish a long-term settlement, farm or not, you will need to set up a system that collects and stores what little water it can.

If you do manage to grow anything, the bandits will hear about it, and will come at full force to burn down your shoddy excuse for a house, and take what little you own. Even if you don’t grow anything, the bandits might come anyway, and skin you alive for the hell of it. You will need guns in order to stand a chance at fending them off, as well as any skags, varkids, spiderants, or whatever other wildlife takes an interest in your farm.

Yes, Pandora is a harsh, and unforgiving place for farmers. So it should be considered a miracle that the Noceda farmstead has persisted for as long as it has. 

Positioned in the center of a small valley, bordered by a stream that split around the farmland to create a natural moat, surrounded by mountains, it was as close as you could get to the perfect farming spot. People on Pandora, bandit or no, would’ve killed for a spot like this. But there was only one thing that warded off such attention - The Owl Lady.

There were many rumours about this mysterious woman who haunted the mountains. Some claimed that she was a siren, with the ability to bend space at her will. Some people said that she was a retired Dahl soldier with a penchant for technology. Some said that she was a test subject to numerous Eridium experiments, and that all of it left her a barely lucid psycho. Some said that she was just an old woman that was batshit crazy. Regardless of what was true, one thing was sure, if you’re wandering through the mountains late at night, and you hear the hoot of an owl echo across the winds, you might as well just dig yourself a grave, and lie in it while you shoot yourself - The Owl Lady is coming for you, and there is no escape.

The Owl Lady has been living in the mountains for about two decades. About once every two months, a group of courageously stupid bandits would go hunting for her. Very rarely did any of them return alive. 

15 years ago, Mr. Noceda and his pregnant wife settled down in the mountains. Everyone expected that the Owl Lady would come in the night, and kill the Nocedas in their sleep. But strangely, that never happened. The Nocedas established a small farm that they were able to sustain themselves with, and the Owl Lady never seemed to pay them any mind. Rumors quickly spread that the Nocedas and the Owl Lady had struck some sort of deal, but exactly what it entailed, no one could decide on.

For six years, the Nocedas peacefully tended to their farm by day, while at night, the Owl Lady safeguarded it from bandits and other hostile creatures looking to ambush the farm. Soon after they had settled, Mrs. Noceda gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. As soon as that girl could walk by herself, she was taught how to work the farm and wield a gun. All was well.

Then, one day, Mr. Noceda left the farm to go hunting. He never returned.

After a week had passed, Mrs. Noceda had realized that the worst had come to pass. But she didn’t have time to mourn. She had a daughter to raise, and a farm to tend to.

And so was life for the next eleven years. Mrs. Noceda and her daughter worked the farm together. The young girl took to gunslinging, and quickly became a remarkable marksman. The Noceda Farmstead persisted, even through the rise of the Calypso Twins and the Children of the Vault. 

Then, on the day of the young Noceda’s 16th birthday, everything changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was playing Borderlands 3 recently, and I started hatching some ideas for an Owl House Borderlands AU. It started with imagining Amity as a Mechromancer, and then it grew from there. I came up with this blurb, and wanted to share it. I plan to do at least a few more chapters, but for now, I'm going to stop here, and I will see you... later. Whenever that may be.


	2. Happy Birthday, Kid

Luz carefully propped up the target dummy against a rock by the stream. The dummy was made from a shaft of rusted metal skewering through two linen bags filled with sand, as well as shrapnel and bullets. One bag, representing the head, had a crude face drawn on it. Both bags had several patches stitched into them.

Luz took forty paces back, then pulled out two guns, one in each hand.

In her left hand, she held a Maliwan shotgun. One pull of the trigger, and it would fire a spray of bullets that engulfed the target in flames. In her other hand, she held a crude, heavily modified pistol, with her name painted onto the barrel.

Luz spent several seconds staring the dummy down, aiming her guns straight at it.

“Come on, Luz, you got this,” she said to herself. “Just like in the ECHOvids.”

She took a deep breath, then pulled the triggers on both of her guns simultaneously.

**_B-BAM!_ **

Luz’s shotgun arm was blown back from the recoil, and she lost her balance. She fell and landed in the dirt with a THUD.

She groaned in pain, but this was hardly the worst injury she had suffered from a training incident. She sat up, and saw that there was a spray of smoking scorch marks in the dirt, and no sign of the dummy having suffered any new wounds.

Luz sighed, then picked up and holstered her guns. She walked over to the porch of the house, then picked up an echo device she had left there. 

A video was on the screen, paused at a shot of a round, bearded, muscular man wielding a shotgun in one hand, and an assault rifle in the other. She hit play. The video showed the man firing both guns at once, mowing down an entire mob of psychos, while happily taunting them with profanities.

“Just how are you able to wield two guns like that?” she asked the device in her hands. 

“Mija, are you alright?”

Luz turned to see her mother standing at the door, with a concerned look on her face.

“I’m fine,” Luz said. “I was just practicing my gunzerking.”

“Again?” Her mother sighed. “You’re a strong girl, and I will admit you’re as good with a gun as your father was, but you’re not a Vault Hunter.”

“Why can’t I be one? You always told me stories about how cool Vault Hunters were.”

“Vault Hunting is a dangerous profession. You’re much better off working the farm.”

“But farming is  _ so boring _ ! And you never let me go anywhere away from the farm by myself! Is it really wrong for me to want some sense of adventure in my life?”

Luz’s mother softly laughed as she ruffled her daughter’s hair. “You really do have your pap’s spirit,” she said. “Perhaps I should tell you about the surprise I had for you.”

Luz’s eyes lit up. “A surprise? For me?”

Her mother opened her mouth to speak, but she was interrupted by a light whirring noise.

The two looked down the road, and saw a box-shaped robot balanced on a single wheel rolling towards the house. It was painted black with a red stripe, and it wore a large skull like a helmet. Printed on its side were the letters CL4P-TP:K1N6. On its back, it holstered a sleek black Torgue Assault Rifle.

The robot rolled up to Luz and her mother, and began speaking in a cheerful voice, “Good morning, Noceda family! I’m here on behalf of the Owl Lady--”

Luz’s mother interrupted the robot. “Eda’s package of Eridiblossom petals is in this box, along with a share of our latest harvest.” She gestured to a small wooden crate that was on the porch by the front door.

“That’s not the reason I came down here!” the robot protested.

“Is it?”

The robot paused for a moment before responding. “Okay, that’s  _ part _ of the reason why I came down here. But more importantly,” he fixed his single yellow eye on Luz, then said, “I, King, have come to wish Luz a happy birthday!”

The young girl smiled warmly. “Aww, thanks, King!”

“In addition,” the robot continued, “Eda has a very important present for you, and has requested that you come up to the Owl House so that she can give it to you personally!”

“Eda has a present for me?” Luz was pleasantly surprised. Beyond her monthly tribute of Lunar Blossom petals, Eda never really seemed to care much about Luz, or the farm in general.

“Why doesn’t she just come down and give her the present?” Mrs. Noceda asked.

“You know Eda,” King responded, “She almost never leaves home during the day. She did drink a whole bottle of whiskey this morning, so she’s probably sleeping it off right now.”

Luz looked up at her mother, pleading with her eyes.

“I know what you’re going to ask,” Mrs. Noceda said sternly, “and the answer is no. You know how dangerous it is outside of the farm. Besides, you haven’t done your chores, and we have a shipment of corn to fulfill before tonight.”

“But I almost never get to leave the farm!” Luz complained, “Besides, it’s only a short walk, and it’s my birthday! Por favor, mami? I’ll do all of my chores as soon as I’m back!”

Mrs. Noceda groaned as she gently put a hand to her head. “Alright, fine. But you’re just going to get your present, and that’s it. Send me an ECHO when you get there, and be back by noon.”

“YES!” Luz leapt up and hugged her mother tightly. “Don’t worry, I’ll call you as soon as I’m there, mami!”

Mrs. Noceda returned the hug in kind.

“Oh, physical affection,” King said in a sarcastic voice. “How wonderful and sappy. Are you coming, or what? We don’t have all day.”

Luz let go of her mother, then jumped down from the porch, grabbing both of her guns and her ECHO device.

* * *

Luz panted as she followed behind King, who carried the package from Mrs. Noceda in one arm, and held up his gun in the other.

“Here on Pandora, it’s always important to be ready for a fight!” King said. “Sure, I’ve been up and down this trail thousands of times, and I’ve hardly ever encountered any hostile creatures, but you never know when danger will strike! Yep, it’s better to have a gun than to be caught with your pants down! Metaphorically speaking, of course, but being caught like that literally is also bad, if not worse. You know what I’m saying, right?”

Luz nodded, only half-paying attention to what King was saying.

“Hey, since it looks like we’ll be walking for a little while, mind if I ask about your guns?”

“My what?” Luz was caught off-guard by the sudden question.

King had turned himself 180 degrees, and was now driving backwards up the trail while facing the girl. “Your guns. The shotgun and the pistol you’re carrying. Where did you get ‘em?”

“Oh. Well, the shotgun used to belong to my papi. As soon as I could grip the trigger, he gave it to me, and taught me how to fire a gun. It’s... precious to me. When I carry it, I kind of feel like he’s still out there, watching over me.”

“Ah, so it has sentimental value to you. I can respect that. But what about the pistol?”

“This?” Luz held up the pistol proudly. “I made it myself, using some old scrap that we had lying around, plus a few parts scavenged from some unlucky bandits.”

“You made that thing?” King laughed merrily as he took a sharp turn without even looking where he was going. “I thought it looked like crap. No wonder!” 

“Okay, I’ll admit that it’s not the best-looking gun. And that it aims as well as a drunken spiderant, only holds one bullet at a time, and is a pain to reload. But I assure you, if it hits, this thing can really mess you up.”

“Yeah, I’m sure—Weh!“

A large skag leapt out from a bush, and knocked King onto his side. It then turned toward Luz, and prepared to pounce on her.

_ BANG! _

The shot from Luz’s pistol knocked the skag away from King, into the dirt. Luz frantically tried to reload the pistol before deciding it would be easier to just switch to her shotgun. 

Luckily, she didn’t need to bother - after getting back onto its feet, the skag decided that this prey was not worth the trouble, and limped away.

Luz relaxed, then helped King back onto his wheel. 

“You were saying?” She said as she reloaded her pistol.

“Whatever, you got lucky.”

The two continued up the trail in relative silence.

“So what about you?” Luz asked.

“What about me?”

“Where did you get your gun?”

“Oh, there’s not much of a story. See, I wanted a rocket launcher that made big explosions, but Eda told me that those were too big and expensive. So we compromised with a Torgue gun.”

“... That’s it?”

“Like I said, not much of a story.”

* * *

Eda’s house was a small metal shack that stood halfway up the mountain, just at the edge of the cliff. It had a door and a single window on the front, and a crude weathervane installed on the roof. Next to the door was a towering machine with a control panel. The panel was pitch black, implying that it was unpowered. In front of the shack was a garden of various flowers, including a handful of Eridiblossoms. Spewed across the garden were bits of flesh from skags and bandits that made the mistake of messing with the Owl Lady. The flowers were all growing to impressive sizes, thanks to having absorbed the nutrients from the decaying flesh, but the Eridiblossoms didn’t seem to grow very large - the biggest flower wasn’t even half the size of the Eridiblossoms that Luz and her mother were growing on the farm. At the edge of the garden, opposite from the shack, there was a rusted mailbox with the words “OWL HOUSE” scratched onto it.

“I should warn you,” King said as he and Luz strolled past the garden, “Eda has a custom ‘state-of-the-art’ defense system installed in the house. Since I’ll be vouching for you, it shouldn’t try to kill you, but...”

“But what?”

“Let’s just say, the less I hear his voice, the less I’ll feel like my circuits are frying, and the happier I’ll be.”

The robot dropped Mrs. Noceda’s package by the door, then reached up to grab the door handle.

As he did, a light on the door flickered on, and the holographic projection of an owl’s head popped out, flying straight toward Luz’s face.

“HOOT!” the projection screamed excitedly. “What do we have here? A new friend?? Hoot hoot!”

Luz jumped back and instinctively pulled out her pistol.

“Well, I’d welcome you inside, but Eda doesn’t really like trespassers. So I’ll just have to kill you instead! Hoot hoot! Activating house defenses!”

As the projection spoke, a pair of turrets began to digistruct on the roof of the shack.

“It was nice meeting you! Hoot hoot!”

“Hooty, stop!” King commanded. “She’s with me! This is Luz, the girl that Eda wanted to talk to!”

The turrets finished digistructing, and began aiming their laser sights on the teenage girl. She pointed her pistol up at one turret, then the other, then back to the first one.

“Oh, is that so?” the projection said as it turned to face the claptrap unit. “Well, in that case, I’ll let her inside...” it flew back to Luz, “provided that she can SOLVE MY RIDDLE! Hoot hoot!”

“R-r-riddle?” Luz stuttered as she reached for her shotgun while still trying to aim with her pistol. It was hard to focus when you had two big guns staring you down.

“Uh, just play along!” King said, trying to remain calm. “I’ll see if I can get Eda’s attention!”

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“You will have three tries, and one minute to give your answer,” Hooty explained. “As soon as you run out of either tries or time, I will fill you with lead. Hoot hoot! Are you ready?”

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“Eda!” King called. “Tell Hooty to let us in!”

Hooty began to give his riddle: “A man has a skag pup, a broken robot, and a mushroom. He wants to carry all three to the other side of the river, but he doesn’t have a boat to take them. So he goes and builds a boat, but then realizes that the boat only has room for him and one other thing at a time. So he puts the mushroom in the boat, and takes off, but then he remembers that the river is dried up and there’s no water for the boat to sail over. So he smashes the boat into several tiny pieces, and takes the mushroom back to the side of the river he started on. Then he sits on the riverbank, and thinks, ‘how am I going to carry all of my stuff across this dried up river?’ He spends the whole day thinking, then dies of a heatstroke. How old was the skag pup at the time of the man’s death, in seconds, give or take one minute?”

“Wha-wha...?”

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“You have one minute, starting now! Hoot hoot!”

“Wait, what kind of riddle is this?! How am I supposed to know the answer?”

Hooty made a buzzer noise. 

**_BANG!_ **

One of the turrets fired up into the sky. 

“That counts as a try. Hoot hoot!”

Luz covered her mouth with her hands.

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“Eda! Tell Hooty to stop!”

As King continued to bang on the door, Luz tried to work out some mental calculations. If an Earth year was 365 Earth days, one Earth day was 24 hours, one Pandora day was 90 hours, skags take about 100 days on Pandora to reach full maturity, then...

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“Forty seconds left. Hoot hoot!”

Luz hazarded a guess. “Uh... Twenty-one million, fifty thousand, seven hundred and three point five one seconds?”

**_BANG!_ **

“Weh!”

King turned away from the door to see that Luz had jumped from the spot in the dirt where a turret had fired another bullet.

Hooty made a buzzer noise. “Wrong!” he exclaimed. “You have one try left! Hoot hoot!”

King pulled against the door. When it didn’t open, he continued to pound against it like a madman.

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“Come on, come on, come on!”

While King was starting to break the door down, Luz was beginning to panic. She was against a mad AI with big guns, and all she had was a crummy pistol and a shotgun that worked much better against an approaching beast than a ranged turret. She might as well be facing a star destroyer with a peashooter.

_ KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK _

“Twenty seconds. Hoot hoot!”

_ KNOCK, KNOCK _

“Ah, to hell with it!” King drew his gun, and wheeled backwards, away from the door. “Hooty, I did not want to have to resort to such drastic measures, but you leave me no choice! Undigistruct the turrets, and let us in! If you do not comply, I will have no choice but to fire upon you!”

“Oh, what can you do? You’re a discontinued model! Hoot hoot!”

“Hooty, I always thought you were a nuisance! I’m more than happy to finally have a reason to blast you sky high!”

Suddenly, the door opened, and a middle-aged woman poked her head outside. “What the hell is going on out here?” she asked.

Her skin was pale, but her right arm was covered with dark golden tattoos. She had long, grey, and ruffled hair, with random objects poking out of it; Luz spotted the barrel of a gun, a screwdriver, a wrench, a spring, and a remote controller. She wore a torn red dress that looked like it hadn’t been washed in years. In her left hand, she carried an empty bottle of whiskey. A psycho’s mask hung off the side of her head. She had a tired look on her face, as if she had just rolled out of bed with a massive hangover, and her eyes were still adjusting to the light of the sun.

The woman pointed at Luz, then asked, “Who the hell are you?”

Luz opened her mouth to speak, but all she could do was squeak out the word, “L-Luz?”

“Eda,” King spoke up, “this is the girl from the farm down the mountain! I brought her to you so that you could give her that present you mentioned!”

The woman squinted at the teenager, then her face lit up as her memory returned to her. “Oh yeah, the Noceda kid. I don’t think we’ve ever actually met, have we?”

Luz, feeling her confidence slowly returning to her, shook her head, and gave a small, nervous smile.

“Hooty,” Eda commanded, “deactivate the defenses.” 

“Deactivating house defenses! And in case you were wondering, the correct answer was ‘peanuts’! Hoot hoot!”

The turrets immediately disintegrated into light, and vanished.

“Thank heavens you finally came!” King said. “I was worried that you didn’t hear my persistent knocking and cries for help!”

“Why didn’t you just send me an ECHO? I had my device right here.” Eda reached into her long hair, and pulled out an ECHO device.

Luz gave King a judgmental look. The robot stood frozen as he refocused his eye. If robots could sweat, he would probably be doing so right now.

“Uh... I did not think of that,” he admitted.

Eda laughed as she stashed her device back into her hair. “Come inside, you two. I’ve got some leftover pizza if you’re hungry.”

As she stepped back inside, she noticed the package from Mrs. Noceda by the door. She picked it up, then gestured for Luz and King to follow.

“Uh, just give me a minute,” Luz said. “I promised Mami that I’d call her when I got here.”

* * *

The inside of the house was a complete mess, it felt cramped, and the whole place smelled like motor oil and vomit. There was scrap, wires, and other junk all over the floor, or hanging off of either the wall or the ceiling. In the center of the room was an old sofa, a dirt-covered lawn chair, and a coffee table made from junk. On the table, there were several bits of scrap and machinery, some tools, an empty bottle of whiskey, and an open box of Moxxie’s pizza. There were still two slices left, and Luz imagined that they were probably cold by now. Propped against the wall, opposite from the sofa, was a black-and-white television that was playing a nature documentary. In a corner of the room, there was a cabinet lined with bottles of alcohol. Luz recognized a bottle of Jakobs specialty brand moonshine - her mother had a bottle that she poured herself a glass of once every year in memory of her late husband. Next to the cabinet was a rusted minifridge with the Dahl logo branded on it. On top of it was a kettle filled with water, a bowl filled with Eridiblossom petals, a mortar and pestle filled with a glowing purple dust, and a cracked mug. On the opposite side of the room was an open doorway. Through it, Luz could see stairs leading downward.

King waded through the mess on his one wheel, over to the television, and turned the channel knob. The documentary faded into static before the narrator could go into detail about the mating habits of bullymongs.

Eda stood at the opposite end of the room from Luz, right by the alcohol cabinet. “Your present is in my workshop,” she said as she placed Mrs. Noceda’s package on the floor next to the cabinet. “Follow me.”

She went downstairs. Luz was about to follow, when she noticed that King was still fiddling with the television.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asked the robot.

“Me? Oh no,” he responded. “Eda still hasn't fixed my stair-climbing wheel, so if I go downstairs, I will fall and get stuck down in her workshop. So I’m just going to stay up here, and make sure that you two have some peace and quiet.” 

He turned a dial on the television, and the image changed to a picture of a rose overtop of a dripping heart.

A voice announced from the television, “--ow return to Pandora’s number 1 rated romantic comedy, Bleeding Hearts.”

“Ooh, just in time!” King hurriedly rolled over to the sofa, then pulled himself up onto it.

“Alright,” Luz said. “I’ll just leave you to it then.”

She quickly descended the stairs, and entered the basement workshop.

If the upper floor was a mess, then this room was a complete disaster. The room was much larger, but between the piles of trash, the workbench, and the shelves filled with random bits and bobs, there was barely any room to walk. On the plus side, it smelled much nicer than it did upstairs, but the only source of natural light was from a window in the rocky wall to the left. In the corner opposite from where Luz stood, there was a hammock hanging so high up, the only way she could possibly reach it is if she were to climb on top the pile of garbage next to it. Next to the hammock, an ornate wooden table was nailed upside down to the ceiling. Luz could see some additional mugs and a teapot on what would have been the table’s underside. One wall was covered by a cabinet that reached up to the ceiling. The drawers of the cabinet were stuffed with random parts, tools, and electronics. In the center of the room was a desk with a lamp, a pencil, some schematics, and a set of drawers that most likely held more junk.

It was one of these drawers that Eda was frantically searching through, mumbling, “Where is it... I know I had it in here... Or was it in the other drawer?”

She closed it, then noticed that Luz was standing behind her.

“Tell me,” the woman said as she opened another drawer. “What do you remember about your dad?”

Luz scratched her head as she struggled to remember. “Not much,” she finally said. “He was the one who taught me how to use a gun, and Mami always talked about how great he was. But then he just disappeared one day. Mami doesn’t like to talk about it, but sometimes, I like to think that he’s out there, somewhere.”

Eda snorted, then said, “I hate to ruin your sense of optimism kid, but your dad’s totally dead.”

“Oh.” Luz stood in silence for a moment, then asked, “How do you know that?”

“Because I saw it happen. Killed by bandits. The psychos messed him up, and peeled his skin off like a banana.”

“Oh, gross! I didn’t need to hear that!”

Eda laughed, took a swig from her bottle of whiskey, then realized that it was empty. “Ah, shit,” the old woman said as she put the bottle down on her desk. “Anyways, I knew your dad back when he was alive. He used to deliver my Eridiblossom petals himself, until I repaired King. See, old Jim had this little treasure that I took great interest in. Apparently, it had been in his family’s possession for ages, until... Ah ha! Found it!”

She pulled something out of the drawer, clenching it tightly in her fist. Luz couldn’t see what it was, but it emitted a soft purple glow through the woman’s fingers. 

Eda walked over to Luz, and told her, “give me your palm.”

Luz did as she was told. “Oh boy!” she said excitedly. “A family heirloom!”

The woman took Luz’s hand, and gently placed something in it.

It was a coin-shaped amulet, made out of a strange, stone material that Luz had never even seen before. It felt warm to the touch, and it gave off a soft purple glow. A symbol that looked like upside-down rounded V with a circle around it was carved into the amulet. The amulet felt strange and alien to Luz, and yet also familiar, like she had seen it somewhere before, but couldn’t quite remember where.

“What is this?” Luz asked. “Is it... an Eridian artifact?”

“Not just any old Eridian artifact, kid. That’s a vault key fragment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Already, I half-regret having Luz be tied to the Holy McGuffin, but ah well.
> 
> Also, fun fact: According to the Borderlands wiki, one full day on Pandora is equal to 90 hours, which is almost 4 days on Earth. I am assuming that humans on Pandora still require 6-8 hours of sleep every 24 hours in order to operate efficiently, so... do with that information what you will.
> 
> NEXT CHAPTER: We, the audience, will be introduced to some new people that we haven't seen yet. *cough* Amity *cough* *cough*


	3. (Re)Enter the Dahl Corperation

Commander Lilith Clawthorne looked down upon the planet. From her office, she could see all of Pandora’s identifying features. The vast tracts of desert. The glowing purple eridium scar across the planet’s southern hemisphere. The blazing emblem of the Firehawk spread across the moon of Elpis. She could even spot the holo-sign that depicted a grease-covered mechanic striking a dramatic pose along with the words, “Catch-a-ride!”

She stared at the sign in disgust. She hated that sign. She wanted it destroyed. Unfortunately, for some reason that she couldn’t understand for the life of her, it was officially recognized as a “Memorial site,” so she couldn’t even order someone to go turn it off, much less shoot it with the ship’s cannons.

A buzz sound came from the telecom on her desk, followed by a voice, “Commander Clawthorne, Amity Blight is here to see you.”

Happy to turn her gaze away from the sight of the Catch-a-ride sign and the planet, Lilith walked over to her desk, and pressed the button to respond. “Let her in,” she ordered.

“Yes, Commander.”

The line shut off, and the door opened. A teenage girl carrying an ornate metal staff passed the guards outside, and entered the room.

Amity Blight had a cold, imposing figure, despite her youth. Her amber eyes and stern poker face looked like they were judging every move you made. She had short, brown hair, which she wore in a topknot. She seemed thin, even underneath her robes and Dahl uniform, but she was notably taller than other girls her age. Her staff was about as tall as she was, and its headpiece had a grotusque, melting face intricately carved into it.

“You wished to speak with me, Commander?” the girl asked.

“Yes. Have a seat.” 

The commander pressed a button on her desk, and a wooden chair materialized in the center of the room. Amity nonchalantly approached and sat in the chair, resting her staff across her lap.

Lilith snapped her fingers, causing a holographic document to appear in her hand. She said, “I have read through your proposal to organize and lead a scouting team down on Pandora, separate from the main army. You do realize that Pandora is not a boot camp. You and your squad will be in danger at all times while down there, and Dahl might not be able to recover you.”

“I understand, Commander,” Amity said almost immediately. “I also understand that we won’t serve the Dahl Corporation while we spend all day training in Boot Camp.”

The commander gave an amused smile. “I like your spirit. You remind me of my sister. Bless her soul.” She tapped the hologram with her finger, then swept upward, causing the text on the document to scroll the same direction. She tapped again, and the text stopped on a list of names. “I just have some questions about the individuals you have selected for this scouting team.”

“Wha-” Amity dropped her stoic demeanor and let worry into her voice, but only for a split moment. She cleared her throat, then spoke calmly, “Is something wrong? I admit, I did have some personal bias when selecting members.”

“What I’m worried about is that you have Agustus Porter and Willow Park on your list.” Lilith held the hologram up to Amity to show her. “If I recall correctly, both of them are Junior Scientists in the Research and Development program.”

“You are correct,” Amity said. “But I have utmost confidence in my decision. Augustus is highly knowledgeable in Eridian technology and history. Having him to examine any Eridian technology we happen to find will prove an asset. As for Willow, I have seen her skill with a gun, and I believe her knowledge in botany and general survival skills will make her a well-rounded member that will go a long way in assisting the team.”

Lilith looked at the list again, then nodded. “I am going to trust your judgement, and approve your scouting team. But only because you have shown great promise and skill within the training simulations.” With her right finger, she drew a checkmark on the document, and signed her name. She then clasped her left hand shut, dismissing the hologram entirely. “And also,” she continued, “we have allies on Pandora, so you will not be alone against the world.”

“Allies, commander?”

Lilith was about to elaborate, when the telecom buzzed again.

“Commander Clawthorne, there’s an incoming transmission from Belos of Emperor Industries. He wishes to speak with you.”

Lilith’s face appeared surprised at the mention of Belos. She pressed the button on the telecom, then answered, “Patch him in. Make sure that the line is secure.”

“Yes, sir!”

Lilith raised her hand from the intercom, and turned her head back to Amity, who was still seated.

“You are dismissed,” the commander said sternly. “Have your scouting team ready within two hours.”

Amity knew better than to question anyone of higher authority than her. She stood up from her chair, and bowed in respect. The chair disintegrated back into light. She turned and walked out of the room.

As Amity left, she overheard her commander say quietly into the intercom, “Belos. I hope you’re not calling to tell me you want out of our deal...”

* * *

_TAT-TAT-TAT. TAT-TAT-TAT. TAT-TAT-TAT._

Sprays of paintballs flew across the arena, towards the group of holographic psychos. Every bullet in each spray found its mark, and the psychos all dissipated.

Boscha smirked as she and Amity ducked behind a wooden crate. “Psychos neutralized,” she said without missing a beat.

Amity nodded, then touched her earpiece. “Skara, do you have visual on the goal?” 

“Affirmative!” a peppy voice said over the radio. “But there are also some snipers looking for you two. I’m just gonna take care of them real quick.”

As Skara aimed her rifle, Amity and Boscha patiently sat behind cover, their guns and staff ready.

“Hey Boscha,” Amity said quietly, “what do you know about Emperor Industries?”

Boscha looked over at her with a curious stare. She had a single right eye, and two cybernetic ones - one replaced her left eye, the other protruded from the center of her forehead. “Why are you asking me?” she asked.

**_KER-THUNK!_ **

“Commander Clawthorne got a call from them before she dismissed me,” Amity explained. “Apparently, they have a base of operations on Pandora, but I’ve never even heard of them until today.”

“Never? Seriously?”

Amity nodded.

“Well, I suppose that’s what you get for burying your nose in a book all day,” Boscha joked.

**_KER-THUNK!_ **

Skara’s voice came back on the radio. “Snipers neutralized. The way to the next room is clear!”

Amity and Boscha stood up and briskly ran across the now-silent stage. Had this been a real shootout, and not a training session against holograms, they would be walking over a small pile of corpses under the hot desert sun right now. 

They reached the door, and readied their weapons. “Boscha and I are going in,” Amity ordered. “Everyone else, wait out here.”

The sound of a small squad of girls giving affirmation chimed in her ear, and Boscha kicked down the door.

“I guess I’m one to talk; I haven’t really heard too much about Emperor Industries either,” she said softly as she and Amity cautiously entered the dark room. “Just rumors. Apparently, the company was first founded on Loki VII, but most of their recruits are ex-COV. Their CEO, Belos, rarely appears in public. The eggheads might know more, you should probably ask them.”

“‘The eggheads’ have names,” Amity said coldly. “And since they’re going to be part of our scouting team, I suggest you learn them.”

Boscha rolled her eyes, cybernetic and organic. She didn’t care.

“I can’t see a thing in here,” Amity complained.

“I can,” Boscha said mockingly, as she activated her cybernetics’ infra-red vision. “There doesn’t seem to be anything in here, except for a broken-down Hyperion Constructor.”

“A what?”

“A Hyperion Constructor--”

“I heard what you said, just... give me a second.”

Amity felt the head of her staff, until she found a small switch on the back. She pressed it, and the eyes on the staff lit up, revealing the constructor in front of her.

The Hyperion Constructor Bot was a large, long, bulky robot mounted on a tripod, with a single, unlit eye on the front. Its worn yellow paint job had patches of rusted metal covering parts where it had been the most damaged, and it had been outfitted with makeshift wings with guns attached to them. It was completely motionless, showing no signs of being powered.

“Why is there a Hyperion Constructor here?” Amity asked as she slowly approached it.

“Must have been salvaged from one of the abandoned Hyperion worksites down on Pandora,” Boscha guessed. “Guess someone thought it would make a good prop for training sessions.”

She kicked one of the constructor’s legs.

The constructor began to emit a chugging noise, and its eye began to glow red. Amity stepped back as the giant robot angled itself upward, and spoke in a deep voice, “ASSAULT DETECTED. INITIATING COMBAT PROTOCOLS. ALERT. REDIRECTING TO COMBAT TRAINING PROTOCOLS. CONSTRUCTING REINFORCEMENTS.”

“Boscha, what did you do!?” Amity exclaimed.

“I just kicked it, I swear!”

A ray of light shot out from the constructor’s eye, and a pair of robotic feet materialized in front of it, followed by legs, followed by a waist, followed by...

Amity drew a pistol, and quickly shot the constructor’s eye.

POW! POW! POW!

“ERROR. PAINTBALL DAMAGED SUSTAINED. RETREATING.”

The constructor leapt up from the ground, activated its jets, withdrew its legs, and began to slowly ascend. A half-finished robot fell to the ground like a pile of scrap and broken dreams.

POW! POW! POW!

The constructor turned in mid-air to face Amity, who was still shooting her pistol. The guns on its wings aimed at her, and Amity felt her legs freeze as the constructor said, “TARGET LOCKED. COMMENCE FIRE—“

_TAT-TAT-TAT. TAT-TAT-TAT._

“Hey, big guy!” Boscha shouted. “Down here!”

The massive robot turned to face the three-eyed redhead that shot it. “TAUNT DETECTED. NEW TARGET LOCKED. COMMENCE—“

Boscha wasted no time aiming her gun and firing.

_TAT-TAT-TAT. TAT-TAT-TAT._

“ERROR. PAINTBALL DAMAGE SUSTAINED. TURRETS DISABLED.”

“Ha ha!” she taunted. “You can’t shoot us, you can’t construct any reinforcements, what are you gonna do now?”

The constructor’s eye began to glow brightly, then it shot out a beam of hard light. Boscha barely managed to jump out of the way, and it hit the floor, leaving a scorch mark.

“Ah crap, ah crap, ah crap, ah crap!”

Boscha continued to shoot at the constructor while dodging the rain of eye-lasers falling upon her.

_TAT-TAT-TAT. TAT-TAT-TAT. Click-click-click._

“Crap!” Boscha exclaimed. “I’ve gotta reload!”

“I’ve got this,” Amity said. “Abomination, rise!”

She waved her staff, and a cube of light appeared in front of her. The cube unfolded and shifted, until it transformed into a large, humanoid, headless robot with four arms, two of which had been outfitted with rotating machine gun barrels. Printed on its back were the letters “ABOMIN8-T10N.”

“Abomination,” Amity commanded, “Open fire!”

Her robot held up its gun-arms, aiming at the giant flying robot, and proceeded to unleash paintball bullet hell, while Amity continued to provide pistol support.

Eventually, the constructor said, “PAINTBALL DAMAGE THRESHOLD REACHED. COMBAT TRAINING COMPLETE. COMMENCE POWER DOWN.” It then descended back down to the floor, re-extended its legs, landed, and shut off. The only evidence of it having suffered through a battle were the splashes of pink and green paint across its guns, eye, and lower half of its body.

There was a crackling sound as the announcement system switched on. “Congratulations on completing the training mission,” the announcer said. “Please report to the debriefing room for your assessment, and for, uh, debriefing on your upcoming assignment.”

Boscha groaned. “Seriously? We’re just gonna drop down to Pandora and look for Vault stuff. What else is there to ‘debrief’ on?”

“There have already been a few surprises today,” Amity mused. “I get the feeling that there’s only going to be more.”

* * *

“We are now live at the Stadium of the Prophet, the site of this week’s Calypso Rally! The Prophet himself will soon appear in order to deliver his speech, straight from the mouths of the Ascended Twin Gods! And here he comes now! The Prophet is stepping onto the stadium as I speak! Let us hear what he has to say--”

Willow turned a knob on the radio, and it turned off.

“Hey!” said Gus. “I was listening to that!”

“It’s just cult nonsense,” Willow said. “The Children of the Vault are on their last legs. They should have died out along with the Calypsos years ago.”

“They should have! But that’s the thing: they haven’t. Ever since ‘the Prophet’ showed up on Pandora, the COV have actually been _growing_ in strength! But that’s not all! The Prophet made his first-ever broadcast less than a year ago, right?"

Willow nodded, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

Gus continued, “Just before that happened, Emperor Industries just appeared seemingly overnight. However, Belos, the CEO of the company, almost never appears in public.”

Willow stood up from her seat. “If you’re insinuating that Belos, the CEO of Emperor Industries, the company which Dahl has a military alliance with, is secretly the Prophet who’s leading the COV, I’m going to have to stop you right there.”

“What’s that about the COV?”

Willow and Gus looked up to see Amity entering the room, followed by Boscha and the other members of the squad, as well as a Dahl General.

“Oh, nothing important,” Willow said nervously. “Just another one of Gus’s conspiracy theories.”

“It’s not a cons-” was all that Gus could say before Willow put a hand over the younger scientist’s mouth.

Amity eyed the two scientists suspiciously before she and Boscha took their seats, followed by the other members of the squad.

The General walked up to the front of the room, and knocked on the blackboard. It turned on, and an image of the Dahl logo appeared. He then turned around, and addressed the room full of teenagers.

“Greetings, soldiers. I believe most of you are already aware of your upcoming mission to investigate the surface of Pandora, as proposed by Miss Blight,” he gestured toward her. She gave no response. “So I won’t bother repeating mission details,” the general continued. “However, Pandora isn’t going to be a game like those training matches with paintball guns. You will be supplied with real weapons and bullets, both from Dahl and our ally, Emperor Industries.”

As he said it, a new logo appeared on the board. It was a triangle with a winged gun pointed straight upward, firing a single bullet. Underneath the logo itself was the text, “EMPEROR INDUSTRIES.”

Everyone couldn’t help but whisper quietly among themselves the rumors they heard about this new and mysterious company that Dahl had chosen to ally with. Amity, however, remained quiet, her attention focused on the blackboard.

“How did they grow so much in under a year?”

“Have you seen their guns? Apparently, they’re based on Eridian tech!”

“Why don’t we ask the eggheads on our team? They might know something!”

“Hey, Willow, Gus, can you tell us anything about Emperor Industries?”

Gus opened his mouth to share his thoughts, but Willow stomped on his foot, causing him to cry, “AHOW!” then go silent.

The general gave a cough, and the whispers died down.

He again resumed speaking, “Now, normally, you all would be considered too young for service, but given your exemplary performance, and Emperor Industries presence on Pandora, we have decided to make an exception for this mission. While on-planet, you will be required to report your progress to Dahl once every 45 hours. Should you fail to report 50 hours after your most recent contact, you will be assumed dead. We will not send a team to recover your remains. Usage of the ECHOnet to contact your mommies and daddies at home is strictly prohibited until you have returned aboard this ship.

“Now, before you are dismissed, we have a special message from Emperor Industries.”

The general stepped away from the blackboard, which switched to display a video of what appeared to be a sunburnt tink in a white suit standing behind a podium. Her hair was tied in a bob on the back of her head, but it still partially covered her face.

“Greetings, young soldiers of the Dahl Corporation,” she said, “and let me be the first to welcome you all to Pandora! I am Kikimora, head of Public Relations and Military Affairs at Emperor Industries, speaking on behalf of CEO Belos. We are excited to work with you, and assist you in searching for the Vault. Now, Pandora is infamous for its population of unruly bandits and thugs, we are proud to say that we have quelled and calmed much of these lost souls. However, that does not mean that the surface of Pandora is entirely safe. Wild, savage beasts still roam about, and many bandit clans still refuse our aid. To help you prepare for the likely event that you will have to face one of these threats, Emperor Industries has sent you an assortment of our latest armaments for you to use. We eagerly await to contact you once you reach the planet’s surface.”

Kikimora bowed, the video ended, and the blackboard switched back to displaying the Emperor Industries logo. 

The general returned to the front of the room, and asked, “Any last questions?”

Amity had several, but she didn’t think that here and now were the appropriate time and place to ask them, so she remained silent. The other soldiers, as well as Gus and Willow, also said nothing.

“Good. Head to the armory to exchange your puny paintball guns for real weapons, and try not to get too excited on the firing range. Dismissed!”


	4. Lost ECHOs: CL4P-TP:K1N6, First Boot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favourite parts of Borderlands is finding hidden ECHO recordings and learning more about the game's backstory. As a fun little experiment, I decided to write a script for an ECHO log, as if this were a tape you would be able to actually find in-game. It's not quite the same experience, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

**Eda:** Okay, little guy, I’ve wiped your hard drive clean, installed a new Operating System, and even replaced your CPU. Man, Jack must have really wanted no one to be able to turn any of you little idiots back on. Time to see if this was worth all the time that I could’ve spent on something more productive. Switching on... now.

 **King:** Bootup sequence complete! Happy Birthday! I am a CL4P-TP Steward bot, but you can call me ERROR: FILE NOT FOUND. Oh god! I don’t know my own name! What’s my name!?

 **Eda:** That’s unusual. Do you know your ID?

 **King:** My unique designation is K1N6. Is that my name?

 **Eda:** K1N6? I will call you... King.

 **King:** Successfully registered common name “King.” I love this name! It makes me feel powerful! Thank you FATAL ERROR 64. PLEASE CONTACT HYPERION CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR MORE INFORMATION. COMMENCING SHUT DOooowwwnn... 

**Eda:** Well, the code has a few bugs in it, but it looks like I have successfully managed to revive a bricked claptrap. *sigh* I’m probably gonna regret this later.


	5. Gunsmithing

“Let me get this straight,” Luz said as she finished her slice of pizza. “You’ve just been sitting here with a vault key fragment for nearly a decade? Why haven’t you gone looking for the vault?”

Eda was seated on the couch, tinkering with a robotic owl, while keeping a fresh bottle of vodka and a cup of Eridiblossom tea within reach. She did not look up at Luz as she carefully poked at the owl with a screwdriver. “As much as I would have liked to risk life and limb for a vault, I have no idea where in the six galaxies to look for the other fragments, let alone the actual vault.” She put the screwdriver down, then took a sip of her tea.

“I’d gladly go searching for that vault myself!” King proclaimed. “But unfortunately, I have some very important engagements that I must see through!”

“And by ‘important engagements,’ he means ‘the next episode of Bleeding Hearts,’” Eda teased.

“Watching humans suffer with mundane issues is one of the few things in this world that gives me strength!”

Eda snorted. “Yeah, yeah, of course,” she said as she took another sip of tea.

Luz pulled the vault-key-fragment-made-amulet from her pocket, and held it up to examine it. “But there must be some sort of clue,” she said. “Maybe a riddle on the back, or... Oh!” 

On the back of the amulet, Luz found writing encircling a glyph that looked like a stick figure wearing a triangular hat and coat. She started hopping with excitement. “I think it’s in Eridian writing! I’ve been studying Eridian over the ECHOnet! Just give me a day, and--”

“Let me save you the trouble,” Eda interrupted. “It reads, ‘together they open.’ There is nothing else to learn from that ‘riddle.’” She put down her tea, then resumed working on her robotic owl. “Believe me, I’ve spent a good five years on that before I just gave up.”

Luz frowned as she looked down at the amulet. She refused to believe that there was no clue to be found, but she had to admit that she had no idea where to even start. She sighed as she hung the amulet around her neck, then hid it underneath her striped shirt.

“I guess I’ll go home now,” Luz said as she sadly made her way to the door.

As she grasped the door handle, the narrator on the TV said, “This week’s episode of Bleeding Hearts is brought to you by Emperor Industries, and their newest addition to their line of firearms, the Dragonbreath Shotgun.” As he spoke, the screen switched to display a logo with a winged gun shooting upwords, followed by an image of the most exquisite gun Luz had ever seen.

The gun had a square barrel, and was decorated with a model of a low-poly dragon. It’s head stood on the top, acting as the gun’s sights, and its body wrapped around the barrel, its claws gripping tightly. Its long tail rested on the back of the gun’s grip, which looked like an incomplete block puzzle.

Luz practically leapt toward the TV, and watched in fascination as the narrator described the gun’s specifics and capabilities. It then played a demonstration, in which a man fired the gun at a target dummy. A swarm of cubes made of light flew from the gun, straight into the dummy’s torso. They each burst into a small nova of fire, and the dummy fell to pieces. The Dragonbreath made Luz’s father’s shotgun look like a joke, as much as she loved it.

“Hey!” King called from the couch. “Your head is blocking my view!”

“Sorry,” Luz said as she backed away from the screen.

The advertisement continued, now playing an animation of the Dragonbreath’s inner workings. Luz’s eyes were glued to the screen, hung onto every word the narrator said.

Eda laughed. “You’re a really big fan of guns, aren’t ya, kid?”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” King said, standing up in his seat. “Get this. She even made her own gun! What kind of nerd does that?”

While it was intended as a put-down, Eda was more impressed than anything else. “Really? Kid, you’re a gunsmith?”

At the mention of her name, Luz turned her head away from the advertisement, which was now ending. “Sort of...” she said, a little shyly. “It’s only a hobby.”

“Hobby or not, gunsmithing is a rare skill on this planet.” Eda put her tools down, then stood up. “Let me see your gun.”

Luz’s eyes lit up, excited to show off her work. She pulled the handmade pistol out of its holster, and presented it to Eda. 

The woman walked over, and took it. She examined it closely, holding it up right to her face, shaking to see if it made any noise (it made a light rattle), then firing it at an empty bottle that lay discarded in the corner of the room (the bottle shattered into a cloud of glass dust and shards). She reached into her hair, pulled out a box of pistol bullets, and with some difficulty, managed to reload the pistol.

“Not bad, kid,” she said as she handed it back to Luz. “Not too shabby at all. Definitely better than most of the bandit-made guns I’ve seen. Reload mechanism could use some work, though.”

Luz chuckled as she nervously scratched the back of her head. “Yeah, I taught myself how to assemble guns by watching videos on the ECHOnet. Most of them are a bit hard for me to follow though.”

“If you can find someone to teach you personally, I’d highly recommend it,” Eda said. “In my experience, nothing beats a hands-on teacher.” She then looked down at the owl sitting motionless on the table, and had an idea. “Actually, how would you like to make a deal? You’re good with technical stuff, aren’t ya?”

“Well, I have been doing a fair amount of tinkering with toys and such when I’m not helping mami tend to the crops, and I do have a few years of experience fixing things around the house.”

“Perfect! Why don’t you come visit me during the day, and help me with some of my projects? In return, I’ll teach you what I can about gunsmithing. Deal?” Eda held out her hand, offering to shake.

Luz looked up to Eda, then down at the hand, her face practically glowing at the Owl Lady’s offer. “Really?” she asked excitedly. “You’ll teach me gunsmithing?”

Before Eda could say anything, Luz jumped at her, and hugged her tightly. Not being at all used to physical affection, she squirmed in the teenager’s grasp. “Can’t... breathe...” she gasped.

The claptrap on the couch rolled its eye. “I don’t see what the big deal is about being able to make guns,” he said. “Why waste all that time making a trash gun when you can find cooler and much better guns by shooting a few skags and looting their corpses?”

Eda managed to push Luz away, then turned to say, “Alright, King. If you think it’s that easy, why don’t you go out and kill a few skags yourself? See if any of them drop something better than your assault rifle, or even Luz’s pistol?”

King looked down at his gun, then up at Eda, then toward the door, then back at Eda.

“You mean like... right now?” he said.

“Yes. Go out there, right now, shoot some skags, and bring back whatever you find.” Eda pointed at the front door. “And be back before nightfall or risk mortal peril.”

King grunted as he leapt from the couch, onto the floor, and then rolled out the front door, punching it open and slamming it shut. In response, Hooty gave a soft “ow,” followed by a single “Hoot.”

“So...” Luz said, “when’s my first lesson?”

Eda gestured toward her owl. “If you can figure out how to make Owlbert here work, how does right now sound?”

* * *

It only took a few minutes for Luz to realize that the problem was a faulty power cell, another minute to find a new(er) power cell in Eda’s stockpile, and then one more to swap them.

Almost immediately, Owlbert sprung to life, flew around the room, and then perched on Eda’s shoulder. She let Luz pet it, and its systems emitted a soft purr as it gazed at Luz with curiosity.

With that resolved, Eda walked Luz through the process of disassembling her pistol, optimizing the inner workings, and then putting it all back together.

Nearly two hours passed within the blink of an eye, but afterwards, Luz’s pistol could be reloaded in as little as three seconds by simply flicking the chamber open, and dropping in a new bullet.

Before Luz could test her new gun by shooting it at another one of Eda’s bottles of alcohol, her ECHO started ringing. She picked it up, and pressed the button to accept the call. Her mother’s face appeared on the screen.

“Miha, where are you?” her mother said. “I thought you just went to get a birthday gift from Eda. What’s taking so long?”

Luz looked up at the time displayed in the top corner of the screen, and saw that it was more than an hour past noon. “Sugar honey iced tea!” she exclaimed. “Los siento, mami! I was just helping Eda with something, and then she taught me some gunsmithing, and I just lost track of time! I’ll be home in just a minute!”

She packed her ECHO and her pistol, then bolted for the door. “Sorry, I gotta go!” she exclaimed as she ran outside.

“Be sure to come back tomorrow!” Eda called. “I’ve got some other projects I could use your help with!”

“I will!” Luz shouted as she raced down the mountain.

She didn’t even stop to greet King as the disgruntled robot hauled bits of blown up skag, a pair of crappy SMGs, and a thin wad of single-dollar bills with Handsome Jack’s mocking face printed on them.

* * *

Luz was gasping for breath when she reached home.

Her mother was carrying crates filled with corn, and loading them onto the truck.

“There you are, miha,” she said as Luz approached her. “So, what did Eda get you for your birthday?”

“Huh? Oh, right, uh...”

Luz put a hand over her amulet, which still hung around her neck, hiding under her shirt. She wasn’t sure if her mother knew about the vault key fragment that had once belonged to her father. She decided it was better not to bring it up, at least right now.

So instead, she said the first thing that came to her mind. “Eda... is giving me gunsmithing lessons!”

Her mother raised her brow. “Gunsmithing Lessons?” She asked.

“Yeah! She said I could come visit her every day, and she’d give me hands-on lessons on building guns!”

“Well, that’s generous of her,” Luz’s mother said as she pushed a crate further onto the back of the truck. “But you’ll hardly be able to get more than a day’s worth of lessons.”

Luz frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Remember that I mentioned a surprise this morning?” She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a brochure, which she handed to Luz.

She read the first page, gasped in delight, and proceeded to unfold and skim through the brochure. “The Atlas University of Engineering! But that’s on Promethea! I thought we couldn’t afford—”

“I’ve been saving some money for transit tickets for both of us,” her mother said. “Our shuttle leaves from new Fyrestone in about two days. I’ve already called ahead and made reservations for an apartment in Meridian. It’s extremely expensive, but we’ll be within walking distance of the University, and I should be able to get a job as a nurse to cover the costs of living.”

Luz could not believe her ears. She had lived on Pandora for her entire life, and hardly ever got to even see the world beyond the mountains that surrounded the farm. Now, she and her mother were not only going to move away from the farm, they were going to move to an entirely different planet. It was almost a dream come true.

“But... what about Eda?” she asked.

“I’ve included a notice that we’ll be moving out with the last package of Eridiblossom petals. She’ll be fine. This is her land, after all. I’m sure she can get King to grow all of the Eridiblossoms that she’ll need. Now help me load the last of our crops onto the truck.”

* * *

What followed was an exhausting afternoon of harvesting crops, packing them into shipping crates, and then loading them onto the truck.

Luz’s mother climbed into the driver’s seat, then asked Luz, “Ready to deliver what may be the last crops we’ll ever grow?”

“Actually,” Luz said, “I was thinking I’d stay here. You know, clean up my workshop a little, pack up my things, maybe prepare for the entrance exam.”

“That’s a good girl,” her mother said, reaching down to pat her head. “I’ll be back in a few hours, and then I’ll make us dinner.”

She started the truck, and then drove down the road, into the mountains.

Luz watched as the truck disappeared from view, and listened as the roar of its engines became softer and softer as it moved further and further away, eventually fading into the echoes of the mountain range.

* * *

Luz’s workshop, while not a tight space, was a fairly small room. Against the wall was a workbench that was covered with tools and random pieces of scrap that she had yet to sort through, as well as a lamp that acted as the only source of light in the room (not including the window). Leaning against the wall opposite from the door was a shelf that carried various common pieces that Luz would often need, such as nuts, bolts, screws, and wires.

Luz cleared off some space on the workbench, and then carefully placed down her father’s amulet, riddle-side facing up. She then searched through her tools, until she found a cracked magnifying glass and a small screwdriver. Looking at the amulet through the glass, Luz began poking at it with the screwdriver. She quickly found that every time she tapped the glyph, it created a small glimmer of light.

“Eda must have known about this,” she thought out loud. “There has to be some purpose behind it. Maybe this is the clue...? But what does it mean--”

 _SKREEEAAAAWWW_ **CRASH!**

Luz was completely caught off guard when a rakk slammed into her window, causing her to drop the screwdriver on top of the amulet.

The amulet released a brilliant flash of light, so bright that Luz had to shield her eyes as she leapt out of her chair. When the flash died down, Luz saw that the rakk was gone.

She ran outside, and found it spasming on the ground. She looked around, and saw that there were no other rakk flying across the sky.

“Weird,” Luz said to the rakk. “What happened to the rest of your flock? Did you get separated, or...?”

The rakk seemed to ignore Luz, and continued to shake uncontrollably.

“Wait. Are you... having a seizure?”

Again, the rakk ignored her.

Luz had never seen a rakk suffering a seizure, but she had watched old TV show recordings with her mother, in which a character had once collapsed to the ground and started shaking their limbs wildly after being exposed to a rapidly flashing light. Her mother, having once practiced medicine, had then explained to her what a seizure was, and taught her what to do should she find someone suffering from one. In short: leave them alone.

Luz decided that the rakk would just get back up on its own time, and left it to writhe in the dirt. She went back to her workbench, and continued examining the amulet.

She poked it with her screwdriver.

It released a small glow, which quickly died out.

She tapped it with her screwdriver.

It gave a much brighter glow, which died out almost as quickly.

She jabbed her screwdriver into the middle of the amulet’s mysterious glyph.

The tip of the screwdriver released a glow so bright, Luz had to shut her eyes. She did not open them until she pulled the screwdriver away. When she did, she found that not only was the amulet unscratched, but the tip of the screwdriver was still brightly glowing. She gazed at the light like a curious child holding a candle, until it faded, and the screwdriver returned to normal.

Luz looked down at the amulet, and then decided to see just how far she could push it. She found a claw hammer, and a rusty welding mask. She put the mask on, carefully held the hammer above the amulet, and violently swung down.

The room was bathed in light, and Luz would later swear that, had she not shut her eyes the moment before the hammer made contact, she would’ve gone blind.

Once she felt that it was safe to open her eyes, she saw that the entire head of her hammer was still brightly glowing. Excited, she found a random piece of scrap, and tried to hit it with the hammer. It released a bright flash, but nowhere near as bright as when she had hit the amulet.

She hit it again. And again.

With each hit, the hammer and its flashes grew progressively dimmer. After four hits, the glow had ceased entirely.

She put the hammer down on the workbench, and went back to looking at the amulet. She thought for a moment, then pulled out her pistol. She popped open the chamber, and took out the bullet. She picked up the amulet, and compared it to the pistol. The circular stone-like disk was just slightly smaller than the body of the pistol.

 _With some modifications,_ she thought, _it could fit inside_...

* * *

One hour later, Luz was back outside, staring down her target dummy, and still wearing the welding mask. She held up her pistol, carefully aiming at the sack of sand that was propped up against the rock, about 10 meters away from her.

The pistol now had an inconspicuous bump on the top near the back, through which the string of her amulet ran through, and was tied to her wrist.

Luz took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth. Time to see if something good came out of this experiment, or if it was all for nothing.

She pulled the trigger.

There was a bright flash of light as a glowing bullet shot out from the pistol, and found a new home in the dummy’s head. The head shone brightly for a few seconds, then faded back to normal.

“Success!” Luz jumped for joy, and ran over to hug her target dummy. Sure, she wasn’t any closer to discovering the vault, or the location of the other fragments, but this had been a fun distraction.

“Wait until I show this to Eda!” she said out loud. “She’ll be so impressed... Wait, what’s that sound?”

The air was filled with a soft crackling/whistling sound, and it seemed to be growing louder and louder by the second. Luz looked around, until she spotted a small, flaming dot in the distance, falling from the sky, toward the stretch of desert that was visible through the mountains, where the stream flowed towards. The dot crashed into the desert, releasing a cloud of sand, and Luz could have sworn she felt the ground shake beneath her feet.

Once she was sure that the farm wasn’t about to be hit by a Pandoraquake, Luz started dancing around excitedly. On Pandora, things falling from the sky wasn’t quite as rare an event as one might think, but nothing ever seemed to land anywhere remotely near the Noceda Farmstead. She wanted to get up close, and see what the meteor was. It could be a drop pod that contained supplies. It could be a ship that crash-landed, and there might be someone inside who needed help. Or maybe, just maybe, it was some long-lost Eridian drone that was called by Luz’s amulet, and came to kickstart her destiny as a Vault Hunter, set to journey across the stars!

_Okay, that may be a stretch, but a girl can dream, can’t she?_

It was at this point that she heard the familiar sound of a roaring engine. She turned to face the road through the mountains, and saw her mother’s truck approaching, now without its cargo. Luz excitedly ran up to the stream that marked the border of the farm, and waved.

As soon as her mother pulled up and poked her head out of the window, Luz exclaimed, “Mami! Did you see the meteor?”

“What meteor?”

“It was amazing! I saw it fall and crash into the desert! I gotta go see it--”

Her mother put out her hand to stop the energetic girl. “Not so fast, Luz. You know how dangerous it is outside of the mountains. Besides, if that meteor does have anything of value, the bandits will be swarming the impact site, and will probably kill each other over it. We are staying right here.”

“But--”

“No buts. We are not leaving this farm until we move to Promethea. Now let’s go cook ourselves some dinner.” 

“Yes, mami,” Luz moped.

Her mother started driving forward, and Luz hopped into the back of the truck for the short ride back to the house.

“Cheer up, miha,” her mother said. “I managed to get an amazing offer on our crops, so I picked up some supplies for burgers as a treat!”

Luz’s face lit up at the mention of her favourite food. She couldn’t be upset when burgers were on the table. She didn’t know anyone who could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's anything that I have learned from Tales from the Borderlands, it's that enemies dropping loot is canon.
> 
> Question: Does anyone know what is considered a delicacy on Pandora? Because I had written down "thresher sausages" until I decided at the last minute to replace it with something more along the lines of normal food.
> 
> Also, I may have just remembered that Luz is lactose intolerant. I should not have let her have some of Moxxi's pizza.
> 
> I believe there is another ECHO log hidden around here somewhere. Let me just see if I...


	6. Lost ECHOs: CL4P-TP:K1N6, Target Practice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did have an idea of hiding links to these hidden ECHO scripts in the actual chapters, but then I thought, "nah, it's not really worth the effort." Anyways, here's another ECHO.

**Eda:** I don’t really have much use for a door-opener out here, so I went and outfitted you with some infinitely more useful combat protocols. Let’s test ‘em out! See those empty bottles over there? Take this pistol, and blast them.

**King:** Combat protocols initiated! Aiming... aiming... aim-

**Eda:** Just shoot, already!

**King:** Shooting!

**_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG-SMASH!_ **

**King:** Woah, did you see that!? That bottle just EXPLODED! Those glass shards flew EVERYWHERE!

**Eda:** Yes, you hit one bottle. Out of six. Targeting is off by a wide mile, but it’s definitely something.


	7. Welcome to Pandora, Kiddos.

Amity reached into the drop pod, and helped a motionsick Willow climb out.

“Is everyone okay?” she asked, addressing the entire squad.

Gus came out from the bush he vomited behind, then said, “That was the most horrendous experience I’ve ever had in my young life. Can we do it again?”

“NO!” Willow shouted. She then heaved, then collapsed onto her knees, and proceeded to not vomit. After a few seconds of heavy breathing, she stood back up, and said, “I think I’m good.”

Boscha laughed at the two scientists. “Weaklings.”

Willow gave the young soldier an angry glare, but said nothing. Gus gave no reaction, having not heard the remark.

Seeing that the entire squad was on their feet and good to go, Amity pulled out her ECHO, and began recording a message. “This is Amity of Banshee Squad to Commander Lilith. We have touched down on the planet surface. Aside from some motion sickness, everyone is in good health. Once we’ve found our bearings, we’ll make our way to the nearest town.” She took her hand away, and turned toward the girl carrying a sniper rifle. “Skara, do you spot any potential hostiles?”

“Negative,” the girl said as she looked through a pair of binoculars at the surrounding desert. “Wait. Scratch that. There’s a skag sniffing about for food. It’s headed towards us. I’ll give it maybe thirty seconds before it gets close enough to bite.”

“I’ve got it!” Boscha ran up beside Skara, kneeled down, and pulled out a large, red rocket launcher shaped like a triangular prism, with the Emperor Industries logo printed on the barrel.

Amity tried to stop her. “Boscha, wait--” 

The three-eyed girl pulled the trigger, and there was a light jingly sound as a glowing orange triangular bipyramid shot out from the launcher, gracefully flying towards the approaching skag.

**_CRASH!_ **

The projectile hit the skag dead-on, and unleashed an explosion of flame that turned the surrounding landscape into scorched black glass. The skag’s burning corpse had been flung back, smashing against a boulder and falling into the sand with a quiet thud, but not before a case of ammunition jumped out of it.

Boscha smirked as she sheathed her launcher, hanging it over her back. “Banshees, 1. Pandora, 0.”

“Boscha,” Amity said sternly, “do you not think that that was even a little excessive?”

“They wouldn’t even let me aim this bad boy at the firing range,” Boscha complained. “I had to test it out somehow.”

Amity sighed. “Fine. Now that we’ve all seen how it works, I suggest that you stick to your assault rifle, and save the launcher for emergencies.”

“Yeah, yeah, got it.” Boscha said, annoyed and not really caring. “I was just protecting the eggheads that can’t fend for themselves.”

“They have names, Boscha,” Amity said.

“And... uh... I do have my own gun...” Willow said sheepishly as she pulled it out to show everyone. It was a handcrafted Jakobs pistol, with a wood finish and a rustic appearance, complete with a scope that resembled a brass spyglass attached to the top of the gun. The gun itself was a gift from her parents; it was over ten years old. Willow had taken very good care of it, though being a scientist, she rarely had reason to use it.

Sadly, no one cared about Willow’s gun.

“By the way,” Boscha said, “where the hell are we?”

Amity pulled out her ECHO, and found the “Map” function. “This region is called the Dry Wastes. The nearest town is Lynchwood. It should be in... that direction.”

Everyone looked where Amity pointed. All they could see was more desert.

Boscha put a hand over her forehead to shield her eyes from the harsh sunlight. Her cybernetic eyes whirred and magnified her vision, until she could spot something resembling a town surrounded by crags and cliffsides. “Looks pretty far away. Skara, how long do you think it’ll take to leg it?”

“I’d say about six hours.”

Gus groaned. “Six hours!? We have to walk for six hours?” 

“Give or take thirty minutes,” Skara added.

“Why?” the teen scientist cried. “Why did we have to land so far away from civilization?”

“Whining about it isn’t going to solve our problems,” Amity said. “We should start moving.”

She took a few steps forward, and then her ECHO rang. 

“Who’s calling?” Boscha asked.

Amity looked at the screen. “Someone from Emperor Industries,” she said. She accepted the call, and a video feed of a familiar tink appeared.

“Good day, Banshee Squad,” she said. This is Kikimora from Emperor Industries. I trust that you had a safe landing?”

“By the strictest definition of the word ‘safe,’ yes,” Amity answered. “This is Banshee-One, Amity Blight speaking.”

“It is a pleasure to finally speak with you, Amity. I apologize for the crude method that your company employed to transport you to the surface. We would have connected you to the Fast Travel network, but it’s been down for the past few cycles, after an incident where the system accidentally gave someone varkid genetics during the transport process.”

“No fast travel?” Boscha complained. “So much for ‘better quality of life on Pandora.’”

Kikimora pretended not to hear the three-eyed girl, and continued. “Rest assured, we are hard at work resolving the issue, and plan to have the system back in working order before too long. In the meantime, the Catch-a-Ride system is still fully operational. We have taken the liberty of registering your entire squad as authorized users, so if you should find a Catch-a-Ride station, you should be able to digistruct a transport truck with seats to fit your entire squad.”

Boscha mumbled under breath that they would need to find a Catch-a-Ride station first, but no one really paid attention.

“Thank you, Miss Kikimora,” Amity said politely.

“Please, just Kiki is fine. We are business partners, after all. Just remember,” Kikimora’s voice became just a touch grim, “if you find anything, ANYTHING relating to the vaults... you will tell us about it first.”

Gus piped up, “But we were ordered--”

Amity quickly put a hand over Gus’s mouth to stop him, while keeping a tight grip on her ECHO with her other hand. “Of course, Kiki,” she said while keeping her poker face. “If we find anything of note, you will be the first to know.”

The tink on the screen nodded. “One last thing - while our influence is spread all across the planet, there are still bandits and savages that reject our culture. I suspect these people won’t take kindly to young Dahl soldiers either. Remember, while you are outside of our cities, always shoot first.”

The call ended.

Once Amity removed her hand from Gus’s mouth, the first thing he asked was, “Weren’t we ordered to report anything we found to Dahl?”

“Welcome to the world of corporate struggle, Gus,” Willow said. “Every company and everyone wants to be a step ahead of the other guy. Especially when there’s a Vault involved.”

Gus was confused. “So... who do we report to?”

“Easy,” Boscha said. “We sell our findings to whoever’s willing to pay us more.”

The other soldier girls in the squad gave nods and sounds of agreement, except for Amity, who remained silent.

Gus stood with his mouth agape. He could not believe what he was hearing. “You all would turn your back on Dahl, just because some suspicious upstart company offered you a bigger cheque? Where’s your sense of loyalty?”

Not wanting to deal with an argument over morals so early in the mission, Amity stepped in. “We can discuss this later, when we actually do find something,” she said. “Now let’s get moving.”

* * *

Banshee squad had been walking for nearly an hour now. 

Willow had excitedly noticed a rare plant growing underneath the shade of a rock. She wanted to stop and study it, but Boscha insisted that they should keep moving. Amity had sighed, and chose to side with Boscha. Since then, she would occasionally mournfully glance back at Willow to see her marching through the sand with a disappointed look on her face.

The other girls in the squad were excitedly talking about their guns, what monsters they might encounter, what they wanted to do once this mission was over, among other things. Gus tried to join in the conversation, but his attempts were ignored.

“Hey, since we’re not doing much right now,” Boscha suddenly asked, “mind if I ask you about this ‘lead’ that you’ve been talking about?”

Amity stopped walking.

“You’ve been super secretive about it,” Boscha elaborated. “Since we’re a squad, I think the rest of us deserve to know about it.”

Amity looked around, ensuring that no one else was around to hear. She then turned to face the rest of her squad, all of whom were looking at her expectantly.

“Alright,” she said. “Guess there’s no better time than now.” She stuck her staff into the sand in front of her. “First off, I owe at least part of this discovery to Gus. If it weren’t for his relentless research and observation, I doubt we would be standing here.”

Everyone looked at Gus, who excitedly pumped his fist and grinned at having the spotlight shone on him, even if only briefly.

Amity began drawing in the sand with her staff as she explained, “I recently discovered that there are four vault key fragments scattered across the galaxy. A long time ago, one of the fragments belonged to the Nocedas, a wealthy family of mercenaries and manufacturers. A lot of companies took interest in their work. More than sixteen years ago, someone tried to purchase both their designs, and the fragment. When the Nocedas refused, they sent in a kill squad. Killed everyone, grabbed everything they could find, then burned the place down to make it look like an accident.”

“But who was it?” Boscha asked.

“We don’t know,” Gus said. “We got records of people watching mercenaries leave the property as it burnt down, but we couldn’t connect them to any major companies.”

“I’ll bet it was Hyperion,” one of the girls said. 

The other soldiers nodded. “Makes sense. Greedy bastards. If they can’t buy it off of you, they’ll shoot you in the face, and then claim that they found it lying around somewhere.”

“So wait, why exactly are we here? Are we gonna find the ruins of the Noceda mansion or whatever and sift through the ashes until we find a vault key fragment?”

“Not quite,” Amity continued drawing with her staff, “Gus found some evidence that at least two of the Nocedas survived, and fled here to Pandora.”

“Wait, wouldn’t all of this have happened during the Hyperion occupation?”

“So they were just hiding under Hyperion’s noses the whole time? The little sneaks!”

“That’s assuming that Hyperion was behind the attack in the first place-”

“Alright, let’s just skip to the end,” Boscha said. “Where are we supposed to find the last Nocedas?”

Amity stepped back from her masterpiece in the sand, and watched as the wind began to blow it away. “In short,” she said, “we have no freaking clue.”

“So what are we gonna do? Just ask around, until we find someone who says, ‘Oh, I know the Nocedas! You gun-toting girls seem nice, so I’ll just tell you exactly where they live so that you can pop in for a friendly visit, and I absolutely trust that you won’t kill them!’”

Everyone except Amity chuckled at the young soldier’s sarcasm.

“I don’t expect that we’re going to get detailed directions,” Amity said, “but I don’t see any one of us coming up with better ideas either. Once we get to Lynchwood, we’ll get some food, ask around about the Nocedas, catch a ride, and then move out. Does that satisfy everyone?”

“Sir, yes sir!” All the soldiers in the squad barked.

* * *

The town of Lynchwood looked like it had been pulled out of an old cowboy film, only it was much more crowded, enhanced with the power of modern technology, made only a few touches cleaner, and then accidentally dropped in mud. It was surrounded by cliffs, crags, caverns, and railroad tracks. The town’s history as a bandit camp was not a well-hidden secret, as the poorly-spelled graffiti made apparent. The most out-of-place feature was the presence of sparkling clean drones that resembled low-poly birds bearing the Emperor’s Industry logo, soaring just above the heads of the crowd. 

One of these drones stopped and hovered in the air above Banshee Squad, looking down at them. “Welcome to Lynchwood,” the drone said with a friendly, high-pitched voice that sounded like it belonged to a clown. “Now owned and operated by Emperor Industries. Can I help you find something?”

“Someplace to sleep would be nice,” Gus said, gasping from exhaustion.

Boscha grabbed him by the ear. “What’s the matter?” she teased. “Is the egghead tired from just a little walk?”

“Actually, Boscha,” Skara said, “I think most of the squad will agree that we could use a break. We have been walking for nearly three hours straight. We haven’t really had a chance to rest for more than a few minutes since our training session on the ship.” 

Boscha overlooked her fellow soldiers, and noticed that everyone, even Amity, looked like they were ready to collapse. Willow, strangely, did not look at all tired - in fact, she looked as if she could easily handle another hour or two of hiking.

The three-eyed soldier groaned as she released Gus. “Fine. I suppose we could stand to relax for a little bit.“

“The Rusty Saloon has rooms available for rent,” the drone said cheerfully. “Please allow me to escort you.” 

It turned and began to slowly glide away, and the squad followed closely behind.

As they did, they noticed how the local townspeople stared at them. Some cautiously whispered to one another as they saw the squad pass by. A few locals gave them a threatening stare as they polished their weapons.

“Amity,” Skara whispered, “I don’t think that these people are happy to see Dahl soldiers casually walking through town.”

“I wouldn’t worry,” Amity quietly responded. “They’d have to be stupid to attack us while we’re under the sight of E.I. drones.”

“Besides,” Boscha boasted, “we’re tough. We can handle a few hostile civilians if need be.”

Skara lacked the three-eyed soldier’s confidence, but she nodded in uneasy agreement.

“We’re here,” the drone said.

From the outside, the Rusty Saloon looked like a giant toaster with a porch. There was not really much else that was notable about it, aside from a freshly painted sign displaying the building’s name in bright black font.

“If you need anything else,” the drone continued, “feel free to wave one of us down! We at Emperor Industries are eager and happy to help however we can!”

The drone flew away, and Banshee Squad entered the saloon.

The inside was dimly lit, enough so that you could see the wide line of empty floor that sat between the entrance, the crowd of unoccupied tables in the dark, the stairway to the second floor, and the bar. The bartender was a tall man wearing a worn suit. His sleeves were rolled up, and everyone could easily see that he had a pistol strapped to each arm. He was polishing a set of drinking glasses when the squad came in.

The bartender gave a crooked smile as he put down the glass and the handkerchief. “Welcome to the Rusty Saloon,” he said. “What can I do ya’ for?”

Amity walked up to the bar, looked up at the bartender’s face, and said without breaking eye contact, “We’re looking for rooms to stay. I understand that you have some?”

“I do,” he replied, “Of course, they won’t be cheap. But I can see that you’re...” he snickered, then continued, “ _important_ fellas on an _important_ mission! I suppose I could knock a few dollars off of the price for you kids, but--”

Before he could continue, Amity dropped a large wad of cash on the counter. “Will this be enough for a few hours’ peace and quiet? Plus food and drinks?”

The bartender stared down at the cash, his mouth agape. After many seconds of hesitation, the Bartender took the cash, carefully, counted it, and then proceeded to give a smile more akin to a customer service worker that had just received a fat tip. “Your rooms are upstairs, first two doors on the left.” He handed Amity two keys, and then resumed polishing glasses.

* * *

“Remind me why we have to share a room with the most useless people in the squad,” Boscha complained.

“Each room has only four beds each,” Amity bluntly replied, “and you were the one who said that we needed to protect the eggheads.”

Boscha grunted. She hated it when Amity used her own words against her. She got up, and said, “Well, I’m sure that they won’t go and get themselves killed if I were to go and arm wrestle with the rest of the squad for a few minutes. You wanna come with?”

“Sorry. I need to make some adjustments to Abomination. He needs to be in fighting condition when I summon him. Plus, I need to plan our next moves.”

Boscha shook her head, giving her a disappointed look. “Tisk, tisk, tisk. Ever since you started specializing in mechromancy, you’ve become so boring. You’re always busy with ‘training,’ ‘maintenance,’ ‘research.’ I know we’re on a mission now, but as your second-in-command, I recommend that you should learn to let loose every once in a while.” She left the room.

Willow and Gus sat and watched as Amity tweaked with her robot, tightening and cleaning joints, as well as testing various motor functions. Its gun arms had been replaced with cubic miniguns that fired corrosive and slag bullets, courtesy of Emperor Industries.

Willow cautiously stood up, and approached the mechromancer. “Hey, Amity, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Amity hummed in acknowledgement, but said nothing.

Willow took that as an invitation to continue. “I was wondering, why did you choose to have me accompany the squad? I mean, I can understand why Gus is here; he did help you discover this lead with the Nocedas. But why me?”

Amity tightened a bolt with her wrench. She did not look up at Willow as she gave her answer, “I imagine it’ll help to have at least two heads knowledgeable in Eridian Tech on hand. Plus, I thought that your training in survival would be a valuable asset.”

“Well yeah, but there were several other scientists you could have picked for the job. Eredian Tech isn’t even the field I wanted to study. You could have at least--”

_CLANG!_

Willow jumped at the sound of Amity dropping her wrench on the floor. Amity then stood up, walked over to Willow, and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Willow,” she said without changing expression, “I know that we haven’t had the best relationship in the past, and I’m not going to pretend that it wasn’t my fault. But believe me when I say that I want you here, with me.”

Silence.

Willow took a deep breath, then silently nodded.

Amity let go of her shoulder, and then resumed working on Abomination.

Aside from the squeak of bolts being tightened, and the occasional sound of whirring motors, the room remained silent.

Gus, hoping to break the sense of awkwardness that had filled the room, pulled out a set of six six-sided dice. “Anyone want to play ten thousand?”

“Sure. Amity-”

“Pass,” she said succinctly.

Willow frowned as she sat back down to roll dice with Gus. “You know, Boscha has a point,” she said. “You have been pretty wrapped up in your studies over the past two years.”

Amity gave no response. 

* * *

Amity gazed up at the evening sky.

Banshee squad had decided to split into three groups of two soldiers (with Willow and Gus accompanying Amity and Boscha), and ask around town about the Nocedas.

They had approached five different people. Two of them said that they knew that the Nocedas had a farm that grew good food, but that was about it. Two others saw the Dahl logo on their uniforms, and told them to buzz off. The last one, an old, frail woman with crooked teeth, thought that Amity and the others were a bunch of kids playing a game, and commented how cute they all looked in their “costumes.” She didn’t answer any of Amity’s questions, nor did she seem to care when Boscha threatened her (an act that drew the judging eyes of some unwanted passerby).

“Well, this is frustrating,” Boscha said. “You’d think that someone would at least give us a vague direction, considering how good their food apparently is.”

“Well, there has to be someone who’s willing to tell us something,” Gus said. “Someone who’s seen them in town. Maybe a trader, or a deliveryman, or some--”

“Come one, come all! This is your last chance to catch a taste of the Noceda Farm, for good!”

Everyone turned and saw a goliath standing inside of a cage, with shelves full of potatoes, corn, onions, rice, beans, even a few pumpkins. The goliath was a large, round figure, wearing extra-large pants that barely contained his body, and an open vest with no shirt underneath. His vest had pockets which contained money, as well as a relatively small pistol and a grenade to fend himself with. He wore a straw hat on top of his helmet to try and complete his “farmer” look.

He continued shouting, “That’s right! The Noceda farm is closing! This here is the last you will see of their renowned produce! Get some, before it’s all gone!”

A few curious townsfolk approached the cage, looking to buy some of the crops on sale. Before long, a small crowd had gathered.

“The Noceda farm is closing?” Willow questioned. “Why? The food that they’re growing has to be incredibly difficult to grow on this planet. Even a bowlful of rice could make them a ton of money.”

“Perhaps we could ask and find out,” Amity said.

They approached the cage, wading through the crowd. Amity knocked on the cage bars, and politely asked, “Excuse me, sir, but did you say that these crops came from the Noceda Farm?”

The goliath looked down at Amity as he took a wad of cash from someone and handed them three cobs of corn through the cage. “I did indeed, little missy. And believe me, you won’t find better grown food anywhere else on this hellhole of a planet. Sure, E.I. might be growing some stuff of their own, but-”

“Can you tell us where the Noceda Farm is?”

The goliath stopped. Amity couldn’t see his face underneath his helmet, but she got the feeling that if she could, she would see the face of a man who had never heard that question before.

He then burst out laughing. “You’re not serious, are you? Everyone knows that the Noceda Farm is in the mountains to the south!”

“Really?” Amity said. “Thank you for telling us.” She turned to leave.

“Wait a minute,” the goliath said. He gripped the bars of his cage as he tried to get a closer look at Amity and Boscha. “What are you two doin’ in Dahl uniforms? What business have you got with the Nocedas?”

The crowd focused its attention on the mechromancer and the three-eyed soldier before them. Their excitement quickly died down to uneasy and/or angered whispers. Gus and Willow, being dressed in more inconspicuous clothing, were largely ignored, so they decided to quietly slip away.

Boscha reached for her assault rifle, but Amity gently grabbed her arm to stop her. “The last thing we want is to make a scene,” she whispered.

She then turned back to face the goliath. “Our ‘business’ is nothing for you to worry about. We just want to talk with them.”

“And what exactly do you mean when you say ‘talk’?” the goliath growled, noting the weapons that Boscha was carrying.

“The literal definition. Actually talking. With words.”

“I should hope so.” He loosened his grip on his cage. “I may not be doin’ business with them anymore, but the Nocedas are nice, sweet folks. Not a lot of those here on Pandora.”

A few people in the crowd drew their guns, pointing them at Amity and Boscha.

“Amity...”

“Stay calm.” Amity tightened her grip on her staff, and prepared to summon Abomination if she needed to. She didn’t look it, but she was anything but calm.

“Let ‘em go,” the goliath said to the people in the crowd. “They wanna talk to the Nocedas so bad, I say let ‘em. The Owl Lady will kill you long before you reach ‘em.”

At the mention of the Owl Lady, the crowd silently sheathed their weapons, and backed away, allowing Amity and Boscha to leave.

“Who’s the Owl Lady?” Boscha asked.

“She’s a monster that lives in the mountains!” someone in the crowd said.

“They say she’s a siren that feasts on the flesh of anyone who passes through her territory!” another warned.

“Nobody has seen her face! Well, no one who’s alive, that is.”

“She’s got jaws that bite, claws that catch!”

“Only the Nocedas are allowed to pass through.”

“... and then she’ll shave your liver! Squeeze the jelly from your eyes!”

“How do you know that?”

“I just heard a rumor. But then again, can you prove that she doesn’t?”

The ramblings of the crowd continued as Amity and Boscha walked away, and reunited with Gus and Willow.

“So?” Willow asked nervously. “I guess we’re heading south for the winter?”

Boscha gave a condescending laugh. “Look at this, Amity. She thinks she can crack a joke! So cute!”

Amity gave no acknowledgement to either Willow’s question or Boscha’s comment. She then pressed on her earpiece, and ordered, “Banshee Squad, this is Banshee One. We’ve found all the info we’re going to get. Wave down a drone if you need two, and regroup at the nearest Catch-a-ride station.”

* * *

Amity pressed a button on the terminal. It scanned her for a minute, and then displayed a welcome message, accompanied by the voice of a cowgirl saying, “Hey ya’ll, welcome to the New and Improved Catch-a-ride! Your ride is ready for digistruction! Please clear the digistruct pad, then press the button, and get ready to drive!” The terminal screen then showed an image of a large truck with two front seats, a rotating turret behind the driver’s seat, a third passenger seat next to the turret, and room for six more people to sit facing each other in the back.

Amity pressed the button to digistruct the truck, then ordered, “Boscha, man the turret. Willow, you can drive. Gus, you can sit behind me. Everyone else, in the back-”

“Hold on,” Boscha cut in. “Why is SHE driving? She’s an egghead that’ll get distracted by the first weed she sees.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Boscha. Would you like to recommend someone else take the wheel?”

Boscha thought for a moment. She briefly considered herself, but she also really wanted to man the turret; she was itching to shoot something. She turned to the rest of the squad. “Any of you girls know how to drive?”

Skara was the only girl who raised her hand. The others nervously stood silent. One half-raised her hand, but then thought better of it. 

“Why not Skara?” Boscha asked.

“She’s our scout,” Amity answered simply. “We’ll be sending her ahead of us once we reach the mountains. She can’t drive the truck if she’s several hundred feet away from it.”

“What about you? Don’t tell me that you, Miss Blight, never learned how to drive!”

“Regrettably, no. I haven’t. It has to be either you or Willow.”

Boscha turned her gaze over to Willow, who nervously looked back at the young three-eyed soldier’s face. 

“Fine,” Boscha said. “But you better not crash or roll the truck over.”

Willow nodded.

 _As if your driving skills are any better, Miss Action Hero,_ Amity imagined herself retorting, but didn’t actually say.

* * *

**Amity:** Amity Blight of Banshee Squad reporting to Commander Lilith. We have traced a lead to a farm located in the... Gus, what’s this area called?

 **Gus:** Shows up on the ECHO map as the Beast’s Talons. We just crossed the border from the Dry Wastes.

 **Amity:** We’ve sent Skara to scout ahead. We expect her to report back within 30 minutes. We have heard rumors of an ‘Owl Lady’ guarding this area. Personally, I believe most of it is just local superstition, but we are proceeding with caution. We’ll make another report after we’ve investigated the farm, and possibly neutralized the Owl Lady. End report.

* * *

“Banshee Squad, come in. This is Banshee Three.”

“Skara, where are you?” Amity said into her earpiece.

“Holed up in a bush up ahead. There’s a woman just standing in the middle of the road. I don’t think she sees me, but I’m worried I might compromise my position if I try to leave.”

“Well, then just shoot her!” Boscha cried. “Put a bullet in her head, and then she’s history!”

Silence.

“I... can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t?”

“I... there’s something about her. I feel like if I so much as wave a finger, she’ll notice.”

“You’re not getting scared now, are you?” Boscha said.

“Sit tight,” Amity ordered. “We’re coming in to engage.”

She then stood up from the cockpit, and looked into the back of the truck. Gus was sitting directly behind her, going over his notes. Willow was in the driver’s seat, quietly observing the world around her. Boscha was sitting in the turret, listening to music on her ECHO, leaning back with her feet on the turret controls, while waving her assault rifle around in the air, looking for something, anything to shoot. The other three members of the squad were sitting in the back playing cards. 

“Alright, break’s over,” Amity called out. “Get yourselves strapped back in. Willow, drive.”

Willow immediately accelerated the truck. Boscha straightened herself back up and put her gun away. Gus continued pouring over his notes, as he had nothing better to do at the moment. The others in the back hastily packed the cards away, and readied their guns as they sat up in their seats.

The sight of the desert land behind them rapidly grew smaller and smaller as Banshee Squad drove further into the mountains, over rolling hills, through puddles of dried mud, past some bushes and a few plants that would have barely qualified as trees.

The squad rode for a few minutes in silence, until Gus finally said, “So I’ve been going over what little info we’ve been able to get on the Owl Lady, and I’ve come up with some theories as to what we might be facing--”

“Gus, now’s not the time for your conspiracy theories,” Willow said.

“This isn’t a conspiracy theory! This is crucial information that could mean life or death!”

“Perhaps,” Amity said, “but it’s worth noting that said information is most likely sourced from raving lunatics.”

“Well you might go crazy too, if you were to go toe-to-toe against... A SIREN!” Gus held a sheet of paper in front of Amity’s face. On it were various notes and sketches regarding mentions of a tattooed killer who lived in the mountains.

“A siren?” Willow said. “Really?”

“Think about it! They have crazy powers that make them super-dangerous! Only a siren could kill someone in all the ways that the rumors describe!”

“Aren’t sirens also _extremely_ rare?” Boscha said. “As in, like, there’s only supposed to be seven of them at once?”

“Six, but yes.” Amity confirmed, “I highly doubt that we’re about to face a siren.”

“I think it’s just some psycho,” Boscha said. “Nothing a few bullets and a blast from a rocket launcher can take care of.”

The other girls in the back agreed, and raised their weapons in a rallying cry.

“Don’t get trigger-happy when we see her,” Amity ordered. “She might just be a deterrent for bandits. We might be able to negotiate our way past her.”

“Boring!” Boscha called out.

“... That said, don’t be afraid to shoot if she gets too close.” Amity handed Gus’s paper back to him, and then looked at her ECHO. “Everyone, look alive. We’re approaching Skara’s signal.”

Everyone went quiet.

Willow squinted at something up ahead. “Does anyone else see someone standing in the middle of the road?”

“Visual confirmed,” Amity said. “Stop the truck.”

Willow hit the brakes, and the truck came to a screeching halt.

The figure ahead stood just within reach of the truck’s headlights. She was incredibly tall, wearing stockings, heeled boots, a tattered dress, and a purple-lit psycho mask. She carried a buzzaxe with a blade that spun at irregular intervals, and a shotgun that rapidly flashed between different colours. She had extremely overgrown and unkempt hair, which had odd pieces of junk sticking out of it. Her arm was covered eerily pulsing tattoos. She was just staring down the truck, weapons in each hand, saying nothing.

“Is that... her?” Boscha whispered, while reaching for her rocket launcher.

“She’s been standing like that for twenty minutes now,” Skara said over the radio.

“It’s like she’s a spider, and we’re trapped in her web!” Gus whispered, half excited, half terrified. “She’s waiting for just the right moment to go in for the kill!”

Amity, master of keeping a straight face, stood up in her seat, drew her second gun - an Emperor Industries Dragonbreath shotgun, modified to shoot corrosive rounds - and aimed it at the figure. “Listen up, whoever you are. We’re here on official Dahl business. Interfering with Dahl soldiers is a capital crime, punishable by community service, imprisonment, torture, and/or death. If you have any semblance of sanity, and you value your life, you will leave the way you came, and let us pass through--”

Suddenly, the woman’s tattooed arm began to grow a bright purple, and the air went cold. She then sprinted toward the squad, while screaming at the top of her lungs, “I HOPE DADDY LETS ME KEEP ALL OF THE EGGSHELLS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT - 11th of February: Prior to this edit, Amity made Banshee Squad swear not to tell their commander about the Nocedas. This has been removed, because, on reflection, Amity deliberately wanting to keep a secret from Lilith makes no sense whatsoever.


	8. Lost ECHOs: Subject 03L, Log #1

**Doctor Swain:** Log 03L-1. Hyperion has approved our request to run Eridium Experiments with the siren that they’ve recently captured. The siren in question, henceforth referred to as “Subject 03L,” has been transported to our site in the Beast’s Talons under maximum security. It has been hypothesized that sirens have some relationship with Eridium and the vaults. We are excited to learn more about our subject, and this “relationship.” Now, the hard part is going to be making sure that she stays compliant...


	9. Horror Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banshee Squad goes up against a raid boss that is _way_ too high for their level. Then Luz shows up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter consists of a one-sided fight which will result in two - wait, no - three knockouts, some explosions, and the removal of two (cybernetic) eyes from their sockets.

_ Twenty minutes earlier... _

Luz was outside, looking up at the starry night sky, listening to the crickets chirping. She was lying in the middle of the field, aimlessly waving her newly-modified pistol above her, while pondering the things she could do with it. Sure, it made things glow, and she could use it as an impromptu flare gun, but as far as she could tell, that was it.

She also briefly pondered the meteor that crash-landed several hours ago. She still wanted to go and investigate it, but her mother wouldn’t let her, on account of it being far too dangerous.

She heard the front door creak open.

Her mother called, “Luz. I’m going to bed! Don’t stay up too late!”

“Yes, mami,” she responded, semi-automatically.

The door creaked closed.

Luz turned her head to face the cottage, eyeing the light in the window of her mother’s room. After staring at it for a few minutes, the light went off.

_ Now. _

Luz stood up, and crept over to the front door. She pulled it open. The door creaked. She then closed the door, careful not to make too much noise as she did.  _ Hopefully, _ she thought,  _ she’ll think that I went to bed. _

She quietly made her way to the shed. She walked straight past the truck that was parked in it, toward a smaller, vaguely bike-shaped object that was hidden under a tarp. 

She pulled the tarp off to reveal that the shape was actually a motorbike that she had created some time ago. It was rather crude, made mostly with spare truck parts, and she barely got much opportunity to even test it, on or off the farm. But theoretically, it should work.

Luz then ran over to a pile of junk in the corner of the shed, and dug around in it until she found a pair of cracked binoculars, and a flashlight that was attached to a shoulder pad through the magic of duct tape. She fastened her flashlight to her left shoulder, and then went to start up her bike.

_ I’m not gonna get  _ too _ close to the meteor, _ she thought as she got in her seat.  _ I’m just gonna get a quick peek, and then ride straight back. Mami won’t even notice that I’m gone. _

* * *

_ Back in the present: _

“Boscha! Fire the big gun!” Amity yelled.

“What do you think I’m doing!?” the three-eyed soldier yelled just before she pulled the trigger on her launcher.

It emitted a jingling noise, and fired. The psycho swerved only slightly to the left, and the projectile sailed clean past her, exploding in a patch of dirt.

“Willow!” Amity shouted as she aimed her shotgun, “Get us the hell out of here!”

Willow floored the gas pedal, cranked the wheel, and the truck turned and drove away at full speed.

“The psycho’s hot on our tail!” One of the girls in the back called out.

Amity crawled out from her seat, and looked back to see that the psycho was practically flying behind them. Not only was she keeping pace on her lengthy legs - she was slowly catching up to the truck. Her buzzaxe had been stuck into her hair, and her now-free hand was reaching out toward the truck.

“Don’t just sit there!” Boscha yelled at the girls in the back. “Shoot her!”

A torrent of bullets flew toward the psycho. Each one bounced off of her, doing little more damage than knocking her hand back.

“She’s got an energy shield!” One of the girls shouted.

“Then use a shock weapon!” Boscha yelled back.

“Uh...”

“Don’t tell me that none of us thought of bringing an electric gun!?”

“I got a rifle that shoots shock rounds,” Skara said over the radio, “... but I’m out of range. Still in this bush, by the way. Thanks for leaving me behind.”

“Of course the only one with a shock weapon is the girl who isn’t in the truck right now!” Boscha loudly groaned as she struggled to reload her launcher.

“Actually, I have a shock pistol.” Gus pointed out.

“Then get up and fucking shoot her already!”

Just as the words left Boscha’s mouth, the psycho leapt into the air, and fired her shotgun.

**_B_ ** **_A_ ** **_N_ ** **_G_ ** **_!_ **

A full rainbow of bullets, lights, and ooze was unleashed upon the soldiers in the back of the truck. Their energy shields exploded, and they were knocked down by the sheer force.

“WhaaAAAAAaaat the heeEEEELLlll kind of GUN was that!?”

“I-I’m on f-f-f-FIRE! And m-my sk-sk-sKIN feels like it’s mELting!”

“I-i-is thisSSs what heEEEEELLLllfire feeeeels like!?”

The psycho landed right above a very intimidated Gus, who hastily drew and fired his gun. Her shield ate the two shots that hit her before she knocked him out with a swift blow to the head.

Boscha quickly drew her assault rifle, and fired a full clip of bullets toward the psycho’s face. Amity aimed her shotgun, and fired corrosive rounds into the monster.

_ TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT- _ **BANG!** _ -TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT- _ **BANG!** _ -TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT- _ **BANG!**

There was a satisfying burst as the psycho’s shield finally gave in right when Boscha ran out of ammo. She reached for another clip, but the psycho grabbed her by the shoulder.

“Amity! Help!”

“TICKETS, PLEASE!” the psycho shouted.

Amity hastily pulled the trigger.

*Click*

Out of ammo. Time for the backup plan.

She dropped her shotgun, drew her pistol, and began firing rapidly.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The psycho didn’t even flinch as each round tore into her body.

Her tattoos glowed as she spontaneously grew a third arm, which grabbed Boscha’s cybernetics, and mercilessly tore them out.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

The truck suddenly turned back around, and the psycho flew off to the side, nearly taking the now-cyclops with her.

As Willow floored the gas pedal, Amity climbed up to the edge of Boscha’s turret. “Are you alright!?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me, I’m fine!” Boscha said sarcastically. “Except for the fact that SHE TOOK MY FUCKING EYES!”

“Did we lose her?” Willow yelled, eyes focused on the road ahead.

Amity looked back, and saw that the psycho, now back to having two arms, managed to quickly pull herself back up to her feet after a rough landing at the side of the road. She looked in the direction of the truck, and proceeded to run after it, screaming, “I’M GONNA FIND THE CRIMSON AT THE END OF THE PAINBOW!”.

“I don’t think she’s giving up anytime soon!” Amity shouted back to Willow.

“Well, perhaps I can give her a reason to,” Boscha growled as she drew her rocket launcher once again, squinting at the psycho with her remaining organic eye.

“Boscha, wait--!”

She pulled the trigger.

Jingle. Fire.

Boscha and Amity watched as the glowing red projectile soared straight toward the psycho. It looked like it was going to hit her dead on...

... Until the psycho extended her arm, caught the projectile like a football, spun around, and hurled it back at the truck.

“Holy shit,” Boscha muttered under her breath. “That psycho is an absolute badass--”

**_CRASH!_ **

* * *

Skara came down from her hiding spot in time to see the blast, the truck rolling onto its side (thankfully still in one piece), and everyone flying out of it.

She ran over to Amity, who lay in the dirt, tightly gripping her staff, and helped her back up.

“Where’s the psycho?” Skara dared to ask.

“Not far behind,” Amity panted. “Go round up the others, and get back in the truck. I’ll try to buy us some time.”

Skara nodded, and ran over to Boscha.

The formerly-three-eyed soldier lay in the middle of the road, a trickle of blood dripping from the bundles of wires that protruded from her cybernetic eye sockets. She was out cold.

Skara lifted Boscha over her back, and carried her to the truck, while the other soldiers worked on rolling the truck back onto its wheels.

Meanwhile, Willow managed to dig herself out of the bushes in time to see just about everything that was described in the past four or five sentences. She also saw Gus lying in the dirt on the opposite side of the road from the truck. She ran over to him.

**_B_ ** **_A_ ** **_N_ ** **_G_ ** **_!_ **

A prismatic burst flew into the square meter of space between the two scientists, causing Willow to jump back. She looked up and saw the psycho casually strutting towards Gus while she reloaded her shotgun.

Thinking quickly, Willow drew her pistol and fired.

_ BANG! BANG! _

The psycho ignored the bullets as they bounced off of her body.

_ Dammit, _ Willow thought. _ Her shield must have recharged. I have to stop that psycho before she kills Gus, but I don’t have nearly enough firepower to even distract! I need a bigger gun! I need- _

“Abomination! Rise!”

Willow turned back in time to see Amity’s robot appear, minigun arms ready.

She quickly ducked down just before Amity yelled, “Open fire!”

**_TATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA..._ **

Willow crawled beneath the storm of bullets, and made her way over to Amity.

“Willow!” Amity helped the scientist to her feet. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! But Gus is still out cold!”

The two girls looked over at the psycho, and watched as she ducked beneath the storm of ooze-coated bullets assailing her. She then reached into her hair, and pulled out a device that looked like a stout bird. She placed the bird in front of her while shouting, “SHIELD MY MEAT FROM THE BOILING RAIN!”

At once, the bird opened its eyes, outstretched its wings, and projected a wide shield, large enough to catch the entirety of Abomination’s firepower. As bullets helplessly bounced off of the shield, the bird slowly marched forward.

“What do we do?” Willow cried to Amity.

“Get to the truck and go!” Amity responded. “I’ll hold her off as long as I can!”

“Wait-- are telling us to just leave without you?”

“I’m not telling you, I’m ordering you. Now go!”

“No!” Willow drew her pistol. “I’m not leaving you and Gus behind!” She fired, aiming at the psycho’s robotic bird.

_ BANG! _

The bullet uselessly bounced against the shield.

“You have to go, now!” Amity shouted at Willow. “If you don’t, you’ll die here!”

“But you’ll die either way!” Willow snapped back. “I’m not leaving unless you leave with me!”

“If I don’t hold this psycho off, she’ll kill the entire squad! I’m not going to argue this any further! Go!”

Amity pushed Willow away, then shot at the shield with her pistol.

Willow hesitantly ran in the direction of the truck. She saw Skara and the other girls (minus Boscha, who was still unconscious), wave for her to hurry up and climb in. Skara was in the driver’s seat, eager to hit the gas and go.

Willow looked back at Amity, who was still trying to shoot the psycho as she calmly paced behind the safety of her bird’s shield, like a predatory cat waiting for the right moment to pounce. Gus was still lying in the ground, right next to the psycho.

Willow turned back to the truck, and gestured for them to go.

The girls again waved for her to get on.

Willow again gestured for them to go, but aggressively.

The girls again waved for her to get on.

Willow shot the air above them, and screamed, “GO!”

The girls in the back ducked, and Skara floored the gas pedal. The truck hurriedly rolled off, leaving Willow behind.

Amity stared at Willow in complete disbelief as the scientist returned to her side. 

“Are you crazy!?” she shouted.

“I might be,” Willow said.

“You’re the Eridian Tech Expert! They need you  _ alive _ to help us find the vault!”

“Gus is the Eridian Tech Expert! My studies are in botany! You only wanted me on the squad for my ‘survival skills!’”

Amity groaned. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter, now we’re both gonna die here--”

The psycho suddenly threw her buzzaxe. It flew through the air, and the handle bumped against the front of Amity’s forehead. She dropped her staff, and she fell back into the dirt. 

Willow knelt down before Amity, and checked her pulse. She was still alive, but she was out like a light.

Willow reached and grabbed the buzzaxe that landed nearby. She stood tall, and held it up defensively as she turned to face the psycho.

The psycho was laughing as she knelt down, then jumped clear over the shield, landed on Abomination’s back, then began dismantling it with her bare claws.

Amity fired her pistol.

_ BANG! BANG! _ *click*

To no surprise, the bullets uselessly bounced off of the psycho. Willow groaned when she heard her gun click. Out of ammo.

Abomination swiveled and swerved its body around as it desperately tried to shake off the psycho, but to no avail. Eventually, after several moments spent with the psycho attempting to rip Abomination apart, it simply phased out of existence, and disappeared into the ECHOether.

The psycho threw a tantrum, and began repeatedly stomping the ground. “WHERE DID ALL THE PRECIOUS GEARS AND GRIME SHUFFLE AWAY TO!?” she shouted as she turned to face Willow. “I’LL FIND OUT AFTER I PAINT A PICTURE WITH THE JUICE FROM YOUR BEATING HEART!”

Willow gulped. “Well, I guess this is it. I’m gonna die fighting an eldritch-psycho-siren as it folds me into an origami lawn chair.”

Her hands shook as she held up the buzzaxe and the empty pistol. The psycho had quickly approached, and now towered over her, fingers sharper than any dagger Willow had ever seen. She could imagine the psycho licking her lips in anticipation underneath her mask.

Willow closed her eyes, and braced for the worst.

_ PEW! _

“ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

She opened her eyes, and saw that the psycho was rolling on the ground, hands covering her face. Her body was covered in a bright, yellow glow, which lit up the surrounding road. The glow quickly faded, and the psycho managed to get back up on her knees.

“Eda! That’s enough!”

Willow turned to see a girl wearing a filthy blue-and-white striped jacket, and a shoulder pad with a flashlight taped to it. She was carrying a strange gun that was tied to her wrist.

“You’ve beaten them! Now let them go!”

The psycho roared at the girl, then pointed at her. “MY OWLBEAST SHALL SKIN YOU ALIVE, AND I WILL USE THE SKIN TO MAKE A BAG OF DREAMS!”

As in response, the psycho’s robot-bird jumped off the ground, and flew toward the girl. It then stopped and hovered in the air as it examined her. Willow expected the bird to attack the girl, but instead, it gently perched on her shoulder, and emitted a soft coo. 

The girl stroked its chin. “Hey, Owlbert! You remember when I fixed you up, don’t ya?”

The psycho stamped her feet, and banged the ground with her fists. “NO! NO! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAME THE OWLBEAST! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CHOKE AND GURGLE IN ITS COLD, SHARP EMBRACE!” 

She then leapt towards the girl, who quickly aimed and fired her pistol.

_ PEW! _

The psycho flew backwards from the shot, and again rolled across the ground, her body again glowing.

“TOO BRIGHT... TOO BRIGHT! MY EYES BLEED THIS GLORIOUS NIGHT!”

She wearily stood back up, and then stumbled down the road, headed back towards the desert. Willow watched as she continued to ramble on about dancing lights, meat bicycles, and other things that are probably best left undescribed, until she was out of sight.

Willow and the girl relaxed, Willow resisting the urge to fall to her knees. She then turned to address her rescuer. “Thanks for the help,” she said, tiredly.

“No problem,” the girl said as she raised her pistol to show it off. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure if this gun would actually do much. But I guess shields don’t react too well with glow-bullets.” She dropped her gun, letting it hang from her wrist by a string, and held out her hand toward Willow. “My name’s Luz. What’s yours?”

Willow shook Luz’s hand, and said, “I’m Willow. And uh... this is my squad.” She gestured towards the two unconscious bodies surrounding them. “This is Amity. She’s basically the leader. And that’s Gus, the Eridian expert. They’d introduce themselves, but, well, as you can see...”

“Yeah, I know. I pretty much saw the entire fight after you crashed and flew out of the truck.” Luz shivered as she thought about the fight that she had only just witnessed and ended. “I knew that Eda had to be a badass, but that? That was terrifying.”

“Eda? Do you know her?”

“Yeah, she’s sort of a local legend. You’ve probably heard of ‘the Owl Lady’. She guards the mountain pass. She’s usually much nicer. Although, I guess I haven’t formally met her until today.” 

Willow gazed out in the direction that the Owl Lady ran off to. “How long until she comes back? No offense, but I don’t think I want to meet her while she’s still... murderous.”

“None taken. We should probably get moving.” Without really thinking, Luz went to pick up the unconscious Amity, and hoisted her over her back. “I have a bike parked... in the bushes up ahead,” she grunted as she bent down to pick up Amity’s staff. “I don’t think it’ll fit all four of us... but we can at least use it to carry one of your friends.”

Willow nodded, ran over to Gus, and picked him up bridal-style. “Do you have a place where we can rest for a bit?” she asked.

“My mami and I live in the valley up ahead, but it’s a bit of a long walk, and I might have a hard time explaining to her why I helped total strangers through the mountains. Fortunately, I do know somewhere we can rest that is a bit closer, and, more importantly, Eda won’t think to look for you until she’s calmed down.”

_ Hopefully. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the gang's all here! Also, Willow, your loyalty is admirable, but it's to a fault. Honestly, her decision to stay was more plot-driven than character-driven.
> 
> Fun fact: I originally imagined this fight to be much bloodier / casualty-heavy, but toned it down for plot reasons. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I'm pretty sure it's difficult to forgive someone when they've murdered half of your friend group.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I know that this is a very unusual idea for a crossover, but... well, you're still here, so you must have liked it, right?
> 
> Please feel free to leave a comment below if you have a question, some criticism, or if you just want to say you liked the fic.


End file.
